Ol 'DIrty Restaurant

Romera serves "leek infused water" and pond run off in latest example of scientific cooking done wrong.

2011-10-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

I've been skeptical of scientific cooking for a while now but in light of the recent proclamation of El Bulli as the best restaurant in the world (I'm not a millionaire so I couldn't get a table) it seems to have gained some popular credence and of course imitators. One such place seems to be Romera, owned by Spanish Doctor/Chef Miguel Snachez Romera, which serves what they call Aqua Gourmond with each of their 11 courses. This is basically flavored water, but not the 50 cent endorsed vitaminy kind. No these are "the latest innovation in high cuisine, ingredient-driven waters that compliment the flavors and aromatic properties of each dish," according to the website. For example one course is complimented by a potato leek infused water. NY times food columnist Frank Bruni simply calls them "pond runoff." A prime example of too much fuss and not enough substance, do you really think your diners are going to be so impressed by the high concept of herb water (every course comes with an index card explaining the philosophy of the dish) that they're going to forget it tastes like shit?

California D Bags ban Foie Gras

2011-10-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

Oh California, liberal enough to protect its farm animals from French people but not pass gay marriage. It was recently brought to my attention that the state of California is banning the sale and production of one of the most sacred of French delicacies, foie gras. The law, which goes into effect in 8 months, has been met with applause from animal rights activists, who argue that the process involved in fattening the duck livers is inhumane (it is), and meet with groans from foodies and Frenchies who argue that the stuff tastes really good (it does). For my readers who are not familiar with the process of making Foie Gras allow me to explain. A duck or goose, being a migratory bird, has an incredible capacity to gain weight. The bird is force fed (although not always)by tube, a diet of boiled corn and fat. This diet contributes significant fat deposits in the liver, which is then cut out of the slaughtered bird and slow cooked traditionally with a little bit of brandy or in a variety of other ways. I can describe to you how foie gras is prepared but I can't really tell you how it tastes, except to say that no food which I've eaten so few times has left such an impression on me. You can tell from the title of this post that I oppose the law, but unlike others who oppose the ban I don't deny that this process is inhumane. Below is a link to a New York times article which better outlines some viewpoints of people against the ban but basically many of them argue that the birds actually enjoy being fed, or at least don't mind it too much. I can't really tell myself that a bird enjoys getting a tube shoved down its throat so it can eat many times more what it would eat in nature, just like I don't think the lobsters most of us boil with no problem aren't in pain the whole time they're clawing at the side of the pot. The issue these foods raise is how cruel are we willing to be to animals to create something so delicious. Somehow I live with myself eating both lobster and foie gras. People tend to come up with excuses to justify cruel methods, like lobsters primitive neural systems can't feel pain (they sure act like they are in pain). I don't come up with excuses for eating these dishes. self indulgence plays a big part in my love of these foods, but there is a sharing aspect to it. I want other people to experience the joys of eating the dishes like soft foie gras confit served with apple purée,brioche croutons and cipollini onions. Chefs like Thomas Keller (who serves the afore mentioned dish at Per Se) bust out the goods when they prepare a dish like foie gras. There is an incredible respect in the food world for the animals we kill in elaborate ways. This sounds paradoxical, but anyone who has seen the preparation that goes into a foie gras dish can't deny the amount of care with which it is made. By banning Foie Gras you are essentially banning the one of the highest forms of expression for an art. Maybe not everyone can live with themselves eating foie gras, but we should at least have the choice.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/us/in-california-going-all-out-to-bid-adieu-to-foie-gras.html?ref=dining

Dog Food

2011-01-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

I've ranted on this before but the NY times ran a recent article on people cooking for their dogs which reignited my hate for overzealous dog owners. I have a dog which I love, she sleeps on my bed, she is allowed on the couch, she goes out three times a day. But as much as I love my dog I have seen her do such adorable things as eat trash, eat plastic toys, and best of all eat her own shit. Which is why I will never cook for my dog and neither should you, it is not only time consuming and unnecessary it is insulting to the human race. The women in the NYtimes article actually had the nerve to feed her dog free range chicken. The only way my dog will ever touch a free range chicken is if she kills it herself or it falls off our dining room table. First, an animal that is content to eat shit does not care weather its chicken is free range or not. Second, have any of you ever actually watched a dog eat? They barley even chew they just wolf down whatever slop you put in their bowl like you've been starving them for weeks. Good food deserves to be savored and appreciated. Some owners try and argue that in fact dogs do appreciate their food more then we think. One friend told me he once watched a dog eat so fast it barfed into its bowl then continued eating through the vomit, I guess that's appreciation. The human equivalent would be if I liked my steak so much going down I decided to send it back up so I could eat it all over again as a smoothie. Nutrition wise dog food is actually better for your dog because its, you guessed it, made for dogs. I don't even have to look this fact up, I just need to look around at all the healthy dog food feed canines running around the world to know that somehow without roast organic chicken millions of tail wagging fuckers have lived for thousands of years. I mentioned before that feeding your dog cooked food was insulting to the human race and that's because there are people around the world eating trash who would much rather have the chicken you cook for your dog. If you find yourself eying up your dog's food saying "that could be tasty," you've gone too far.

Here is a dog video for shits and giggles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyKlNptQwc

Julia's Alright

2011-01-05T16:04:00.000-08:00

So the holidays are over and by far the best meal I had was a little chicken dish that came out of that book known as "The Art of French Cooking" by a certain Julia Child. Now I've never really been into Julia Child, at least not since she became chick flick material, but after this meal I leafed through her cook book and she gets the ODR seal of approval. Lines like "boil chicken in melted butter," and "beat six eggs into cake mix" remind me of a time when people weren't afraid of what they ate. I don't think Mrs Childs could get away with writing such a book in today's world, what with all the calorie counters and diet freaks. Sure if the world ate like Julia Child cooked we may all be a little rounder, Julia was pretty dam round herself, she was also dam happy.

Happy Holidays form ODR

2010-12-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

Its Christmas time people. The time of the year when families get together, the time of year when Jews and Chinese immigrants rekindle their secret yearly alliance to eat at each others restaurants when everything else is closed. Whatever you may be celebrating this season, ODR hopes your holiday is filled with good food you didn't pay for. Enjoy this link to GQ's guide to holiday entertaining, which should make you semi literate in champagne (which I was not considering It doesn't come in boxes), and this awesome picture.

GQ guide to New Years entertaining

ODR WINS FIRST AWARD

2010-12-17T12:31:00.001-08:00

Well the competition was stiff but ODR beat out a crowded field for the "Most Misogynistic Blog Having to do With Food and Drink" award given by The United Feminist Front. Such excellent posts as ODR's Drinking for 15 year olds, as well as my post on how to take advantage of under eating women to fill your own stomach, were sited as fine examples of sexist blogging at its best. In an award ceremony hosted by Kanye West and interrupted by me I thanked my mom for inspiring my dickyness with her in your face feminism. Love you Mom!

Cheers!

Hatties is for Lovers

2010-12-14T14:37:00.000-08:00

Sooner or later I'm going to have to accept that I don't live in New York City anymore and start talking about restaurants which are near me. So for my first review Saratoga Springs Ol' Dirty would like to talk about Hattie's Restaurant. The other day a girl was talking to me about what her and her bf/hookup/whatever you kids call it these days were planning on doing that night. As I pretended to listen she started to talk about which restaurant they should go to, which got my attention. Without hesitation I mentioned Hattie's. After a short pause she said "isn't that a Chicken place?" When I told her it mainly was she responded "I can't look sexy eating fried Chicken, its not date food" The first thing I thought was I would never date this girl she hates fried chicken, and second I thought she could actually look pretty sexy eating fried chicken. The truth is I have been around Downtown Saratoga eating out. I went to Max London's, I went to the Adelhpi, I went to Ravenous. Your going to get the most satisfaction for your dollar at Hattie's eating fried chicken with your hands. And its not even like Hattie's is some chicken joint like this girl was making it seem, its a well run restaurant with an upscale atmosphere. I've never stuffed my face with chicken in such a classy environment, I felt like the clothes I was spilling grease on weren't expensive enough (a lot of this probably has to do with the fact that it was race season and the crowd was upscale). Don't think Hattie's is unfriendly though simply because it is well decorated, the waitresses were more then willing to explain the menu items which only a regular or a southerner would know. The massive chef was even walking around talking to diners (note that if your fried chicken chef is fat its a good thing). I later found out that the chef, whose name is Jasper Alexander even gained his credentials at NYC restaurants like Gotham Bar and Grill, and Gramercy Tavern, which satisfied the NYC snob side of me. Of course the atmosphere and the staff wouldn't matter if the food was bad. The Hattie's chicken recipe was brought from the South by Hattie Gray in 1938, and I doubt it has changed much since. The chicken is no frills, moist on the inside, flaky on the outside. When we are talking about American fried chicken the only really important thing is the balance between moist and crisp and Hattie's handles the balance beautifully. There are no revolutionary seasonings or sauces its just good fundamental chicken. Pair the chicken with a side like coleslaw and mashed potatoes. Obviously there is more on the menu then chicken but in my opinion going to Hattie's for anything but chicken is like watching a porno movie for the acting. No matter what you get your going to leave stuffed and satisfied and maybe even...sexy?

Pigs

2010-12-14T11:45:00.001-08:00

Not all meat is created equal, there are those meats that are saved for special occasions and for me its pork. I probably eat beef every other day (lol pun) and chicken at least once a week, but pork. Pork is special, even sausage links are a special breakfast for me. So here is a list of the 35 best pork dishes is NYC, courtesy of NYMAG.

PIGS

Drinks for babies

2010-12-10T12:55:00.001-08:00

Notice the dank drink cozy! An excellent way to tag drinking pictures on Facebook without worrying that your boss at the ice cream shop is going to fire you.

So you fifteen and you decided its about time to start drinking because that cool kid at your school who wears DC everything told you how fun it was that time he played super smash bros "fucking smashed bro." The only problem is alcohol is so yuckers! I mean beer tastes like someone boiled a grandma and then bottled the water so how am I going to get fucking smashed too? Look no further then OLD DIRTY RESTAURANTS GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR PUSSIES:

Mikes Hard Lemonade: The truth is this stuff tastes pretty good, almost like a very popular citrus beverage whose name I forget, oh yeh lemonade. Don't let those commercials fool you, Mikes is not for flannel wearing guys at pool parties, its for kids like you who like the taste of lemonade and want to get retarded. Mike's basically tastes just like lemonade which is sweet bro! All the fun none of the work! When your puking yellow your going to wonder what you drank to make you bang that fat chick.

Smirnoff Ice: Just like Mikes only it comes in even more flavors! YAY. This drink is so cool that a bunch of those older lacrosse kids at your school play a game where they make each other drink it because they like it that much, its called icing and you should start doing it. Theres even a flavor that comes already mixed with cola so you don't have to.

St Ides Special Brew: The dankest of the dank for you kiddies. Not only does St Ides taste like soda, but Tupac shouts it out in a song. You know Tupac the rapper? Anyway its popular among those urban people, so it must be cool! Watch out though, make sure you get the Special Brew kind with all sorts of good flavorings like mint and berry, if you get the normal stuff it tastes like piss with no chaser.

Four Loko: actually Four Loko is not for you you can't handle it.

PS: Yes I have personally sampled all these drinks but it was for science dammit...except Four Loko...that was just for funsies.

NYPD undertakes first four loko raid

2010-12-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

I shutter to even mention Four Loko on this prestigious blog considering this is a blog all about taste, and Four Loko tastes like... like someone melted jolly ranchers in a can of Olde English. However this story is just too good to pass on so here it goes. Apparently Xiao Ye, the downtown Manhattan bar, promoted a Four Loko Thursday which the police took issue with. First off why would you serve deli booze in a bar to begin with. I guess it was only a matter of time before some sick (or smart) fucker decided to make a cocktail out of the stuff. My best guess for a Four Loko cocktail is one part Four Loko and one Roofie, and maybe some lemon juice, I would call it a "right to the point," and it would cost 23 dollars. Anyway I digress, NYPD got wind of the event and decided to kick down the bar's door (I don't actually know if this happened I'm just assuming they kicked down the door) and ,according to the bar's owner, proceeded to seize and allegedly destroy all Four Loko on the premises. The problem is the State Liquor Authority and NYPD say they didn't pour the booze out or even confiscate it, since they didn't have "an evidence locker for that kind of thing." I like to imagine that the cops did pour out all the booze prohibition style, and now there are some very drunk fish swimming around the Hudson. I would like to applauded the NYPD for trying to rid us of this drink, which I can only imagine is made on an assembly line of Oompa Loompas vomiting into cans.

Speaking of Four Loko I decided to write my next post on "alcohol for pussies" anyone with any suggestions please comment them or send me a text if I noe you like dat.

Rules of Bumming vol 10: Your Friends in college come from all sorts of places, some of these places have good food.

2010-11-07T15:47:00.001-08:00

No one really likes the food they're served in college. I go to a school with excellent food (compared to other colleges anyway). A decent percentage of the food I eat in my school's dining hall is outsourced to local farms, the variety of food is impressive, and the execution is overall excellent. But no matter how good the food is Chicken finger Friday is only fun for so long, even if the Chicken fingers are good. So thats why I've worked the care package system like no ones business. I'm not saying that my parents send me a steady supply of food from the city (that would not be bumming), I'm saying other peoples parents supply me with food from their cities, and towns, and in some cases villages. Allow me to explain. Everyone in college kind of thinks wherever their is the best place on earth, and they are eager to prove it to their new friends. So whenever someone takes a weekend back home, or is on the phone with mom asking for a shipment of goodies, I just tack on my order. So far I've found that out of some weird desire to show me how awesome the village of Bumfuck is people are all too willing to shower me in their regions best food. So far I've accumulated 20 Montreal Bagels (see my entry on Mile End deli), countless bars of Vermont cheddar, apples from the Adirondack region, and a curious drink called Ginger Jack from an orchard in VT. In the end everyone is happy, I get my food, they get some respect, and its not like I'm cheating these kids out of anything. Its the parents who are paying for all this food, and parents money is like monopoly money anyway.

PS: if this makes me sound like a snobby New Yorker who gives out respect to other regions like its gold... well I kind of am snobby New Yorker.

2010-11-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

Oh the seventies

2010-10-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

My mother used to be a waitress at the Tudor City Hotel, a pretty high end joint back in the day. The hotel's restaurant was a formal place, waitresses wore crisp white uniforms and followed strict serving codes. The chef of the place was a Chinese man, and I guess the pressure of managing a kitchen at a high end hotel got to him because he was always high out of his mind. On day he was chopping a cucumber when he was hit with a brilliant idea. Stopping to put down his knife he unzipped his pants and slapped down his little buddy onto the cutting board next to the cucumber. He then resumed cutting veggies dangerously close to his exposed penis, all the while laughing and shouting "I'm the best chef in the world!" Kitchens are crazy places.

Care package

2010-09-08T08:38:00.001-07:00

I have a pound of hard salami from Katz's in my dorm room, fuck ramen noodles.

Mile End

2010-08-19T15:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me is aware of my intense love of Jewish deli food. I'm taking a pound of Katz's hard salami with me to college, and of course my well worn Yonah Schimmel shirt. Naturally I was exited when the food scene was lit up by the recent opening of Mile End Delicatessen, located right off Atlantic ave in Brooklyn Boeurm Hill neighborhood. The deli gets its name from a part of Montreal known as Mile End which is home to the city's Jewish population. What makes Mile End distinctly Canadian are its Montreal bagels, which are smaller and sweeter then their New York counter parts. I was a little disappointed by the bagels, which Mile End has delivered daily from Canada, not because they tasted bad but because they don't taste that different then your normal NYC bagel. However that was my last complaint about Mile End. I don't like to get extreme in my reviews, but I really was blown away by the quality and the taste of the deli's modern takes on Jewish staples. While the bagels and poutine (french fries in gravy with cheese curds) make the deli Canadian, it is the innovative flavors combined with traditional cooking methods make Mile End stand out from the established Jewish eateries around the city. In contrast to a deli like Katz's Mile End's smoked meats are heavily flavored, with herbs and spices rubbed carefully into the skin of the meat as it is cured. Despite the flair that extra flavoring brings Mile End's deli remains no nonsense, much in the tradition of other Jewish Delis. The smoked meat, as complex as it is, is served with mustered on quality rye, no frills, just like it should be. Even though Mile End's bagels may be from Montreal, you can still get them with capers and thin sliced lox, and even a spread of creme fresh. The deli's decour follows its no nonsense attitude, with clean wood and metal surfaces, minimal decorations, and a deli counter in clear view of the kitchen. In many ways Mile End will feel familiar to fans of New York Jewish food, but it is certainly and exciting and delicious new niche for a cuisine known more for tradition then innovation.

Herbal seasoning

2010-05-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Big thanks to loaf for pointing out this article on weed use in NYC kitchens.

NY Times Article

King of Meat

2010-04-26T15:18:00.001-07:00

High end meat is a craze. This sounds like an obvious statement, since when have people ever not liked good meat? But look at the popularity of places like Shake Shack, Good Burger, and the Spotted Pig and you can see that more an more New Yorkers are caring about the quality of their meet. High end burgers alone have created their own micro craze within the wider meat craze, driven partially by the success of places like Shake Shack, and partially by the availability of high end meat for relatively cheap prices. These two things (at least in New York) are largely a product of one wholesale meat company, LaFrieda Wholesale Meat Purveyors. Owned by brothers Pat and Mark, LaFrieda supplies, to name only a few, Shake Shack, Union Square Cafe, The Spotted Pig, Bluesmoke, and Five Napkin Burger. As described in their recent NY mag write up the brothers cornered the market by understanding the base desire of all high end restaurants, to give the customer something they can't get anywhere else. In line with this understanding is the LaFrieda's practice of giving each restaurant a specialized blend. So while the meat going to shake shack and the spotted pig comes from the same cows, and is made in the same machines, the differing rations of chuck, skirt steak, and rib create unique ground beef for each restaurant. As much credit as we give to chefs like Danny Meyers for bringing the burger into the limelight, these two have been quietly building up the burger from behind the scenes by throwing better and better meats into the grinder. The newest blend from the LaFrieda's in the Black Label Buger, which is made of ground dry aged rib eye. Grinding up this cut is the food equivalent of melting down a Ferrari because you need steel, at least to the traditional chef. But LaFrieda's willingness to experiment with blends could just be what is driving the latest New York food fad. If you look at LaFrieda's client list almost every restaurant is new, Pat LaFrieda even snubbed the old guard Peter Lugar's due to work ethic issues. It's not too far fetched to say that these brothers are the driving force behind the patties at most of New York new and notable restaurants.

Five Guys

2010-04-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

INC magazine recently ran an interview with five guys creator and owner Jerry Murrell regarding his fast food burger philosophy. Interesting piece on fast food done responsibly.

Article

ODR's Best April Fools Joke Award

2010-04-03T09:58:00.001-07:00

Despite the large number's of food related April fools jokes, including a rumored mustache hair net requirement for NYC bartenders, the Award for the best (and cruelest) joke has to go to the jerks who rumored the opening of an NYC In and out Burger. Apparently those semi funny dudes over at college humor put up "coming soon" signs all over Union square and hired fake In and Out employees to pass out pamphlets. According to an In and Out rep the brand will most likely never make the trip out to the east because their beef comes from Southern California, like there are no cows on the east coast or something.

I got 40$ on it whose with me?

2010-03-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Hot dog truck for sale

Finally a bar for wall street types

2010-03-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

Plenty of restaurants have tried to court finance types by “speaking their language” — take Maloney & Porcelli’s expense-report generator and Smith & Wollensky’s stocks-for-steak offer. But I don't think anywhere has gone as far as this. A couple of suits ,one of them a former trader at Deutsche Bank and stock broker at Prime Charter LTD, and the other an econ major who has lately been a GM at some restaurants around Murray Hill, will open a stock exchange–themed lounge called Exchange Bar & Grill in Gramercy. The gimmick: The prices of drinks and bar food will fluctuate in 25-cent increments according to demand — meaning your wings could be $2 to $3 cheaper or more expensive depending on who else is ordering them. So it’s like the exchange floor but with drunk chicks! Will the place manage to lure away Stern school’s brightest from Tonic East? Ladies if your looking for the wall street type head on over to Gramercy, at end of your meal George Bush shows up and pays your bill then adds it to your taxes.

Brooklyn Restaurant week

2010-03-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

This week is restaurant week in BK. This means at participating restaurants a 3 course dinner will cost you a cool 25$. There are a ton of places on the list but I'm going to shout out some of my favorites.

River Cafe (Dumbo): Food is iiiigght, but the view is unbeatable, right on the water looking out at downtown Manhattan. Ate here a long time ago and remember it being not worth the ridiculous price, but restaurant week should knock a good 30$ off what you would normally pay.

Applewood (Park Slope): A place which really takes the whole "seasonal" thing to heart. Applewood sources all it's ingredients to local (and some New England) farmers, and while the dishes are not particularly inventive their execution is top notch. I recommend anything with seafood, considering the restaurant goes to crazy lengths to ensure the freshness of their fish (lobsters shipped daily from maine).

Stone Park Cafe (Park Slope): My favorite on the list, Stone Park simply does everything well. The menu is inventive enough without trying too hard, and this is one of the places where your restaurant week discounts will go the farthest. Get the pan seared scallops.

for a complete list of participating restaurants go to visitbrooklyn.org

NY Mag best of New York

2010-03-10T17:26:00.000-08:00

I generally respect NY mag's food opinions so I'm passing on their best of New York section. Be sure to check out the breakfast section featuring Breslin, which I talked about a few posts back.

Best of NY

The Last Meal of Francois Mitterrand

2010-03-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

This is really an amazing story, and quite indicative of the intense passion and connection the French feel to their food. Francois Mitterrand was the longest serving prime minister of France, serving from 1981 to 1995. In 1981 Mitterrand was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which he hid from the french public for eleven years through false health reports. As his health began to leave him Mitterrand planed his last meal which included an illegal dish consisting of a thumb sized song bird. L'Ortolan, is a tiny bird long prized for it's fatty meat. Although the song bird is now protected across Europe at the time of Mitterrand's death the bird could still be netted and used for food. What made Mitterrand's dish illegal was the manner in which the bird was prepared. The bird is caught alive, and kept in a light-less box to disrupt it's feeding habits. For an entire month the bird gorges itself on figs, millet, and grapes, becoming too fat for flight. After the bird has swelled to four times its normal size, it is drowned alive in Armangac, the idea being that as it inhales the liquid it infuses the flavor in it's organs. Finally the bird is popped into the oven for 6 minutes and served. Even by French standards this is unusual cruelty, however the dish's illegal status hasn't stopped a cult from forming around it. Writer Michael Paternitti was served the dish by a Bordeaux chef who claimed it was his duty as a Frenchmen to cook the dish. Devotee's claim that they can taste the birds entire life as they chew it, the salty air of its Medditerranian migrations, the wheat of Morocco, the grapes of France. If it all sounds a little ridiculous it is, no doubt helped by the way in which the bird is eaten. A large napkin is placed over the diner's head and the dish, to create a fume hood which wafts the flavors up towards the nose, traditionally the napkin also hid the diner from God. Ideally the entire bird is placed in the mouth at once and chewed for a good 15 minutes, slowly breaking through the skin and into the Armagnac soaked organs. In the South of France, this is considered the highest of all dishes, and I have to admit it sounds like one of the strangest and most reflective dining experiences you can have. Sitting in a white tent, with tiny song bird under you, Paternitti likened it on NPR to being in a confessional. Mitterrand included the bird in a meal which included other French staples, such as oysters and Foie Gras. But he saved the bird for last, and after he had eaten his last bite he didn't eat another bite of food for ten days until he died. Brilliant

Where to get your King of Brunch on

2010-02-28T09:47:00.001-08:00

After 3 of my least classy posts in recent memory I decided it was time to sit down and write something serious. Today I'm going to talk to you about brunch, the underrated love child of lunch and breakfast. I'm surprised that more teenagers haven't embraced brunch, considering it starts at around 10 when most of us wake up on weekends anyway. I'm a big fan of the hearty breakfast, and considering the increased girth of brunch, which often includes things like skirt steak and biscuits, it suits my tastes perfectly. For good steak and eggs I recommend The Breslin on west 29th st. It's not cheap, at 17$ a brunch, but the steak is cooked perfectly, with a nice outer char, and the eggs, while not fantastic, are good enough to justify the price. If you prefer to gather your own brunch instead of going out for it, buttermilk biscuits are a must. Forget the pilsburry and go to Clinton street Baking co or Cafe Pedler, which are both located on the same block of Clinton st. I honestly can't decide which spot sells better biscuits, both are very good, while maybe the Clinton St. Baking Co. has a slight edge in terms of consistency. Both bisctus carry considerable heft, and at 2$ a pop they can be paired with butter, jam, eggs, or bacon, for a complete breakfast or brunch.

2010-02-26T15:36:00.000-08:00

Wall of Shame

2010-02-25T15:58:00.001-08:00

Rules of Bumming Vol 9: Hood Ass Cocktails (mom don't read this)

2010-02-16T16:00:00.001-08:00

This could potentially be the dumbest thing I've ever posted... Throughout high school I've found myself in the unique position of being a drinks snob and a bum at the same time. I can't stand piss water, and I'm always (to the disgust of party goers) putting things in my drinks to make them bearable to me. Here are some favorites for you to try or laugh at

1.The Soho Loft (props to Cole): Bear with me on this, chocolate milk, plus whiskey. If you want to be really classy use a powdered mix like ovaltine. Most people can't stand the strong stuff, and a little dairy is the perfect way to cut the after burn. Fill a mug about half way with chocolate milk and add the equivalent of a shot of Whiskey, stir well and drink quickly since you don't want the milk to curdle. (Sam F is grinding his teeth in anger at this drink)

2.Brass Monkey: I find that dousing your malt liquor with a healthy amount of OJ makes it go down much easier in what the West Coast has dubbed the brass monkey. Malt Liquor is characterized by a flat bland taste, and the citrus in Oj really helps it go down. In fact OJ is really good to put in anything. If your lacking in OJ squeeze a whole lemon or lime into the bottle. Good ratio: 15 oz OJ to every 40oz malt liquor.

3.Gimel faced: Ouzo and ice.

4.Sue's House: Coors light (or equally flavorless watery beer) and pellegrino lemonciata. This is the grossest sounding one because it involves mixing beer. I made this once at a party and some dick had the nerve to tell me I was ruining the integrity of the beer. With apology to the defenders of Coors Light, the beer has no integrity to begin with and even less taste, so it's perfect for mixing. It's also really flat, which is why I recommend mixing it with something like pellegrino lemonciata for both taste and fizz. An alternative would be a little seltzer and some lemon or even seltzer and OJ.

Lastly make sure everything is cold. A bad beer will taste ten times worse at room temperature.

once again this is totally ridiculous

Forget I Heart NY

2010-02-15T07:57:00.001-08:00

all you need to represent

The State of Molecular Cooking

2010-02-10T18:08:00.000-08:00

Here is a very interesting article on scientific cooking. Ol Dirty is of the opinion that if it tastes good then do whatever you want to it.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB126532946414240915.html

Lets be serious for a second

2010-02-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

I normally stay away from the complex politics of the food industry, since I prefer to focus on the enjoyment brought on by dining, not where or how my food is made. When I was eleven I was at a a now extinct Boston restaurant called Maison Robert. My grandfather leaned over to me and asked me if I knew how Fois Gras was made, which of course I didn't. He went on to describe the process, including the binding of the goose, the force feeding, the hanging of the goose to limit it's movement, and finally the slaughter and liver extraction. He then scooped up a nice big chunk of the stuff into a toasted bread slice and jammed it in my mouth. As I sat there thinking of a room full of hanging gooses with tubes down their throats, another thought entered my head, this was fucking delicious. I'm pretty callous to food issues. I read Fast Food Nation, saw supersize me, and continue to eat Micky D's. I like organic ingredients not because they're better for the environment but because they taste better. But there is one issue which i just can't, despite my incredible powers of ignoring the often brutal and inhumane process of food preparation, overlook, and that is the state of fish in the world. Whenever I eat sushi or cooked tuna I can't help but feel like I'm contributing to the extinction of a species. The EU is entertaining a ban on Bluefin fishing, which I wholeheartedly support. Currently in the Mediterranean Bluefin are at about 15% their historic level, which means that there is less then a fifth of the normal tuna average left. About 80% of Bluefin Tuna ends up in Japan (watch the south park episode), and a huge Japanese fish market remains the chief obstacle to any sort of limitations on Tuna fishing. So I'm going to say something I've never though I would say. Please stop eating Tuna. I'm not asking this because of some sort of hippie appreciation for God's beautiful creations, but simply because I want to eat the slimy bastards for the rest of my life, and I can't do that if those greedy Japanese roll them all up into sushi.

Skull and Rolls

2010-02-01T19:21:00.000-08:00

I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. Apparently there's a guy in Greenpoint named Ben Sargent, who hails from the lobster loving city of Boston. Give Ben a call and he will whip you up a lobster roll... yeh it's that simple. Sarge runs a unlicensed (illegal) lobster business from his apartment, and if you call him during the evening you can stop buy and pick up your rolls. If it's late at night he even runs a mail slot service, which will drop your rolls through a mail slot. So why would you make a trip out to Greenpoint for lobster rolls? Well you really need to appreciate your lobster. Ben won't say where his lobster comes from, but since hes a Boston guy I'm going to assume it comes from Cape Cod (Which means its delicious), and he also guarantees that your lobster is less then 24 hours out of the world, which makes all the difference for a good lobster. Besides the taste there's something nice about an unlicensed New England native (complete with patriots hat, flannel, and baggy jeans) running a lobster speakeasy in a city which tends to get too fancy with its seafood. I'm making it my food goal of the month to eat one of Ben's rolls and I'll let you know what I think.

Brooklyn Bread Basket

2010-01-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

This city used to make things. All those factories shuttered up along the BQE, all those nice lofts in Dumbo, used to be full of minimum wage pulling Italians and Irish. I can't really explain it but there's a real romance to a New York based production operation, especially when nowadays our chief export is financial woes from Wall st. That's why I'm always happy to see a city based food production company go up, and recently Brooklyn has been full of them. Brooklyn Brewery has always been churning out quality goods from its Williamsburg factory, but joining it soon will be companies like Kings County Jerkey Co. Kings County Distillery, and possibly even Brooklyn Maple Syrup. I'll talk about Jerkey Co for now. KC Jerkey Co is to Jerky what Pickle Guys is to Pickles, giving what is traditionally a hiker's food a craft-gourmet makeover. The beef is smoked on a terrace in Bed Stuy (great for the neighbors), and infused with three flavors, classic, orange giger, and Bulgogi (Korean style). The meat itself is sourced from a farm in Kingston New York, however it's worth noting that the company has only appeared in craft fairs and contests so far, so the actual meat distributor could change when the company opens officially in April. Hopefully KC Jerky Co can do for Jerky what micro breweries have done for craft beers, and it's all from Brooklyn.

Momofuku Milk Bar

2010-01-29T13:32:00.001-08:00

Im a sucker for Asian deserts (go figure), and while Momofuku's (means delicious peach in hello kitty speak) dishes are far from traditional Eastern fair, the fusion of classic french patisserie and contemporary Asian ingredients is as innovative as it is delicious. I really shouldn't be saying all this considering the only thing I've had at Momofuku is cookies, but what good cookies they were. My favorite is the cornflake chocolate chip marshmallow cookie, which had a consistency that you would guess from it's name, somehow soft like a marshmellow and yet crunchy like cornflakes. The ingredients are the stars here, and the soft buttery taste is something you can only achieve with high quality high fat butter. I was impressed to find out that most of Momofuku's ingredients were sourced from local farms, which explains their freshness. I also highly recommend the butterscotch cookie, but if your a looking for something much more traditional the chocolate chip will do fine. The milk bar is located on 2nd ave and 13th street, and while you may find the prices hard to justify if you get the right thing your getting your dollar's worth.

Fast Love

2010-01-24T19:13:00.001-08:00

This is where Bums take there girls, not that most bums have girls...
Romance at White Castle

Beef Ya

2010-01-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

Recently I learned of a cooking magazine titled simply "Beef." It's a cooking magazine geared towards manly men and shameless carnivores, which makes sense when you learn that the magazine exists only in Germany. Beef is new to the scene, with only one issue out so far, but it's already promising to awesome. The very first article showing a giant picture of a furry rabbit, followed by a full page spread of what we assume to be the same rabbit skinned and hanging from a rack. What follows is a list of instructions on how to skin and prepare the cutie, which by the sound of the magazine they expect you to have caught and killed with your own teeth. Women are nowhere to be seen or heard from in this magazine, except in articles like "how to cook a woman into bed" in which they are mainly seen and not heard. I know I'm making this sound like a joke, but it's really a (semi) serious cooking mag, hope to see it stateside.

Rebirth

2010-01-20T17:03:00.001-08:00

Where the fuck have I been: Poor and hungry thats where. I was particularly generous this Christmas, and have been involved in a lengthy Fixie build, I'm not going to bore you with details of my financial situation but needless to say I haven't had enough dough to support a meal out every week, even with my legendary bumming skills. After about a month of inactivity I finally accepted that Ol Dirty was dead, I even started telling people it was dead, but something that is based on a love as simple as eating can't go away for long. This weekend I got a little extra green in my pocket and decided to accompany a friend to Katz. I took my little ticket and got a Knoblewurst on rye. I don't think I need to explain the powers of Katz's, and sitting there under the wall of fame, trading bites of Pastrami for bites of sasuge and striking up friendly banter with Katz's famous cutters made me realize I sorely missed the food world. So here I am again, and hopefully for a long time.

The most awaited guide in the NYC culinary world, from the people who put rubber on your whip

2009-10-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Well the Michelin guide is out. Bums just stop reading this now you cannot (or choose not to ) afford any of the good places in this book. For those that don't know Michelin is the famously selective restaurant guide which rates restaurants on a three star system, with three standing for a restaurant that goes above and far beyond the call of duty, using imaginative or extremely high quality ingredients, preparing distinctive delicious dishes, and having excellent service and atmosphere. Only five restaurants in all of NYC gained this rating, while six gained the two star rating, and several dozen received the one star rating. I of course being someone with a normal income have only been to some of these fantastic places, including three of the three star restaurants (I'm the same kid who makes you give him his pizza crust after you finished the slice). Of course the guide is totally unconcerned with price, which kinda pisses me off. Price is often (but not always) reflective of the value a restaurant places on its food. Some of these restaurants charge way to much for what they serve. Of the three three star restaurants I've been too only one, Daniel, I felt justified its price tag. The food I got at Per Se ( a three star restaurant) was better then the food I got at Dressler (a one star restaurant), but it wasn't 200$s better. But whatever, chances are if you pick this thing up to plan your nights dinner your either going out for a special occasion or your the kinda kid who takes cabs everywhere.

Check out the guide at ny mag, use the link on the right

Antics

2009-10-04T14:02:00.001-07:00

ATLANTIC ANTIC IS TODAY, go eat bitches.

New York Mag Feature

2009-09-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Its no secret that Ol Dirty loves chicken, so here is a really fantastic slideshow of some of the cities best fried birds. The links at the bottom also lead to a nice map of the best fried chicken spots in brooklyn, as well as a ranking of some of the best fast food chicken.

http://nymag.com/restaurants/features/59438/

The pilgrimage

2009-09-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

Few places in New York will make me travel long distances for ordinary foods. Its the places that make me hop on a subway and take an hour or two for everyday staples that really earn my respect. A perfect example would be Kat'z. What does Kat'z make, sandwiches big whoop, but every now and then I hop on the F and trip down to Houston street

this dudes why

http://www.alwayshungryny.com/videos/behind-the-counter-katzs-deli/

tip him while he cuts and your gonna get a few more slices on your pastrami

Beer fest NYC

2009-09-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

New York City is not a place renowned for it's beers, like many German and Cech cities. However as most New Yorkers know the city is home to several craft brewers of decent quality. I'm no beer expert (www.beeradvocate.com/beer/101//topic:Beer), but I like to think my tastes are discerning enough to tell a good beer from a bad. Well anyway the New York Craft Beer Festival kicked off this week, with 83 participating bars. Although most of my readership probably cannot enjoy these brews in bars (cindys is a sapporo only joint), you can still get them in six packs and bottles around the city if you ever feel like not drinking piss water in a 40 oz one night. Ive tried to pick beers which I think you can find in stores.

Brooklyn Brewery Monster Ale: Aged beer? dont you only do that with wine? Well it turns out that some beers meld flavors as they age. This beers been aged since 2003 so you know whats good.

Avatar Jasmine IPA: We know whats good with IPA. I love finding this brand at peoples houses because I know there not content to drink shit like Budweiser. The first thing your gonna notice is that this beer smells like a bouquet (leviish), and you can taste the jasmine, which might turn people off put this is pretty good and flavorful for a pale beer.

Big A IPA: prob good for the 40 oz crowd who wants to upgrade a bit, because according to Jon Ludbaum the New York City Rare Beer Imports president (havnt actually had this one so im going with his word) this beer is 9.6 percent alcohol. Besides being loaded with alcohol, this beer has a nice fruit taste without being like a bottle of sugar or one of those dumbass hard lemonades.

Bum Report

2009-09-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

The good people at NYC daily deals have informed me that for tomorrow until 3am restaurant.com is selling 25$ gift cards to over 800 nyc restaurants for one dollar. Extreme bums will stock up, normal people will maybe cop one for a gift. Either way check it out, there are some good places in a wide range of areas.

DBDB and the rise of burgers

2009-09-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

The weird initials stand for Daniel Boulud does Burgers. For those not in the know Daniel Boulud is the genius behind uptown restaurant Daniel (where I had the best and second most expensive meal of my entire life). Why would a man with such credentials in fine cuisine stoop as low as to open up a semi industrial bistro that specializes in burgers? Because people eat shit tons of burgers that's why. The American burger has followed a similar path to another American icon the Levi's jean. When Strauss first put rivets in the 501 and made it available to the hardworking farm people of the American west he stooped the blue jean in working class lore. Nowadays however everyone wears jeans, and a pair of 501's goes for around 100 bucks. In the US hamburgers have long been associated with fast food, never a classy venture, but now they've crept into the trendiest of the trendy joints across new york and the world. Take DBDB for example. One of the places three types of burger, "the frenchie" has so many words describing the toppings and seasonings after "6 oz patty," that you should just skip to the part where it says 22$. Fuck, a burger for 22$? that's as crazy as jeans for 100$, or maybe its not crazy at all.

Alan Richmen gives a much better review then I could (probably because he gets a 300$ allowance to eat whatever he wants there and I had to use the money I had just gotten from using the coin thing in commerce bank ) head over to his blog to check it out, links on the right

sam ross

2009-09-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

2009-08-30T19:35:00.001-07:00

Well summer is winding down, and Ill soon be back at regular posts

here is an absolutely awesome website to tide you over

www.cheeseandburger.com//

more fish

2009-08-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

Well summer is winding down, and people are retiring to their favorite beach spots for these last fleeting weeks. East coast beach life is the shit. I'm not a palm tree and tikki drink kind of guy, I like sail boats and lobsters. I've had the privilege of visiting a good deal of the popular beach spots in the east, and of course sample their local fare. In terms of food not all spots are created equal. In general the farther north you go the better your fish gets. The waters off Cape Cod are home to a hundreds of year old fishing industry, which not only supplies amazing food but adds a authentic feel to the place. Its very nice to be able to walk down to the harbor and see actual fishing trawlers, instead of yachts (Im looking at you East Hampton). Of course the low key vibe of the Massachusetts coast means that your dinning out options aren't as good as a place such as EH or Martha's Vineyard. The way I see it if you like to boil your own lobster then go to cape cod, if you like to pay someone to boil it for you go to EH. A nice in-between would be Martha's Vineyard. The Vineyard has its authentic fishing village parts, as well as its gigantic summer homes and pricey restaurants. The Vineyard benefits from being in close proximity to the Massachusetts fishing industry, and specifically the Welfleet oyster harvest. Wellfleet is a small town in cape cod known for its briney oysters, these morsals can be found in the vineyard (and also in some NYC restaurants at 8$ a pop), and of course in Welfleet itself. The places farther north also benefit from being closer to the famous Maine lobster, known as the best lobster in the east. The rule of thumb is wherever the fish comes out of the water, that's the place to be. Fish is all about freshness, so be close to the source.

p.s: if i left out the jersey shore its because it fucking sucks and nothing there is good.

sorry guys

2009-08-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

Ive been a bad blogger recently. The truth is i've been eating pretty shitty food lately. Lack of money and time makes it so i'm eating at home pretty much everyday. Ill try and get out in then next month.

OMFG

2009-07-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

Bon Chon now has free sample wings.

Adrian Grenier

2009-07-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

Fans of the male equivalent of Sex and The City: Entourage, will be tickled to know that the shows star is a member of the Park Slope Food Co-op. For those who dont know the Coop's whole shtick is that it gives members discount food in exchange for them working a weekly shift for the market. Reportedly Grenier was seen helping to unload produce from a truck. Why the star of a hit TV show needs discount food I have no idea, but its funny to think that maybe Vinne handled your fruit.

Trendsetting since day one

2009-07-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

Below is a link to an interesting ny times article about how food blogs have begun to pay more attention to fast foods as the recession deepens, something ODB has done since day one.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/weekinreview/19bruni.html?emc=eta1

joie de vivre for cheap

2009-07-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

In celebration of Bastille day, which I know Im late for, ODR brings to you a few of its favorite French eats that wont break your wallet.

Bacchus: Loctaed in the Boreum hill area of Brooklyn, or for pre gentrification types Gowanus, Bacchus is a refreshing addition to an increasingly crowded field of Brooklyn bistros. The Atmosphere is comfortable and relaxed, but still retains a degree of formality (jeans are fine at Bacchus, but preferably ones you can find at barney's). Theres a nice backyard are where you can dine on a selection of French staples such as hanger steaks and escargots, or something a little more contemporary such as a pear and goat cheese pastry. Overall this place works because it serves good French food in an unpretentious setting. Price wise a three course dinner will cost you around 25$, a steal for good French.

Bouchon Bakery: Located on Columbus circle in the Time Warner building, and directly below New York's most expensive French restaurant Per Se, Bouchon provides a moderately priced lunch option with boulangerie style dishes. Bouchon deals in quality sandwiches on fresh baguettes and pastries prepared by Per Se pastry master Sebastien Rouxel. Also the only place you will find a French take on a Nutter Butter. Cheap for French, but expensive for lunch, treat yourself one day if your ever uptown.

Le Pere Pinard: Im a little reluctant to put this place up because I've only eaten one meal there and it gets some bad flak on foodie websites, but its practically the only French restaurant in the Lower East Side, and at 16$ for a three course dinner its a good deal too. A safe bet for a decent meal.

MLE

2009-07-08T19:05:00.001-07:00

This fourth of July thousands of people turned out to Brooklyn's friendliest slum Coney Island to watch the Nathan's hotdog eating contest. The competitive eating league (yes MLE stands for Major League Eating, its a real thing), is dominated by one small Japanese man named Takeru Kobyashi, who unhinges his jaw and inhales food like some sort of Asian boa constrictor eating a mouse. I like to savor and enjoy my food not stuff it down my throat, but the culture and scene surrounding MLE is frankly hilarious and entertaining so I pay attention to it. This year, I guess driven by some weird patriotism, onlookers booed Kobyashi and instead cheered on native southerner Joey Chestnut to win the contest by 3.5 dogs. In total Chestnut ate a ridiculous 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes which is 6.8 hotdogs a minute. All in all a good time was had by all and we whooped the Japanese like it was 1945.

Enjoy this link to a nice slide show of the show http://deadspin.com/5307965/the-nathans-4th-of-july-hot-dog-eating-contest-is-america/gallery/

PS: also in MLE news Elephants beat humans in a hotdog eating contest the day before, 505 dogs to 143, they still cant make guns or cars.

Rules of Bumming Vol 7: Sunshine Bumtime

2009-07-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well its summer and the youth of America is coming of age in the world and venturing out to get their first jobs as interns, waiters, busboys etc. The numbers show that a sizable portion of these jobs will come from the food industry. Chances are you know someone somewhere who is working in some sort of food related establishment. Cash in on your friends budding enterprise and cop some free grub! A lot of the time low level workers can use their discount to buy you cheap goods, weather they work at somewhere as common as Starbucks or a high end ice cream place on the Brooklyn promenade (ask to use Calum's tab). Of course all things in moderation, you wouldn't want your friend to get fired over giving out too much discounted ice cream (once again thats CALUM's tab).

July 7th

2009-07-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn Bowl will be opening on this day, grab your tight jeans and hop on your fixies were going to williamsburg

Brooklyn Bowl to open this week

2009-07-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember a while back I mentioned a bowling/ dining joint opening in Williamsburg. The ally, whose food is provided by fried chicken masters Blue Ribbon, is set to open sometime this week although the exact date is unannounced, ill keep you posted on this.

Sad Moments

2009-06-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

What does Michael Jackson have to do with food: pretty much nothing except his love of Jesus Juice. But still I think all outlets of American media should pay homage to a truly great performer and musician. Personal life aside no one can deny the impact Jackson had on American pop music and dance. Being in Germany right now its a little hard for me to keep up with the news and I know this post is coming a little late but its better to say something then nothing. Rest in peace Michael.

can i get a menu domkoff

2009-06-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

Well here I am smack in the middle of Germany. I've been here 2 days and had three hot dog type meals, and its pretty sick. Ill devote this post mainly to the German eating experiance as I have found it so far. Like all of Europe Germany is big on the cafe. The main difference between these cafes and the ones in downtown NY is that you are expected to linger over your food, and I mean really take a long time. Dont expect to sit down in at a table and be served right away, I've found that it takes a good 5 minutes for a waiter to notice you, then another 20 or so to get your food, and then another 10 to get the waiters attention again to get your check. All this waiting is a little tough on a born and bread New Yorker like me but theres something enjoyable about taking a good hour to eat lunch. My cheif complaint about German cafe's is the waiters. In Germany you never tip more then one euro because the waiters get a significant salery. This means they dont live on tips like our American waiters, and this means that they could give a dam if they mess up your order cause youl only dock them one euro for it. This isnt just something I notice eaither, I watced an old German man reduce his waitress to tears because he was so feed up with the serive. When you do finally snag a waiter they luckily are patient enough to deal with a foreigner like me (the only German I know comes from World War Two movies), and are generally as helpful and nice as our waiters back home. What they lack in service they make up for in charm and food. In New York Ive been trained to pick a good eatery from bad, but in Germany any cafe you walk into it almost guarenteed to give you a decent meal. The quality of the food is simply better on average. Also NY cafes arnt in fucking Europe, which already puts them at a disadvantage. The first thing I thought to myself when I stepped off the train into my little town was "all the steryotypes are true." The part of the country that I'm in, for the most part, looks exactly like that fake Europe in Disney World. Needless to say the restaurants and cafes in Germany have a charm that no Ameircan reastaurant can easily match sicne they pretty much look like they hopped out of story book.

*this post is prob full of errors, sorry this whole computer is in German and I cant spell check anything (ok levi).

Live from Berlin

2009-06-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

In one day's time I will be traveling to the fatherland for some R&R. Over my ten days in Germany I'll definitely be eating as much meat, and sipping on as much quality beer as I can get my hands on. Ill try to keep this blog up too date while overseas, but if not then see you in july.

Keep eating

We got trucks and trucks and trucks

2009-06-15T16:04:00.000-07:00

Recently i've been noticing a load of new food trucks springing up around the city. I lot of these trucks are complete rip offs so I thought I'd compile a little list of some of the best trucks and others to avoid.

The Mud Truck: Not being a coffee drinker i'm going on the word of my old lady on this truck. The Mud trucks drive around the East and West village, and occasionally venture into Coney Island for some reason. Seeing the Mud truck's orange paint job driving down the street is enough to make any hipster jump out of his chucks. I dunno what makes the coffee that this truck hands out so good (the website calls it mystery beans), but my mom goes crazy for it, and the prices are decent.

Rickshaw Dumpling Truck: These trucks are all over the place and they serve dumplings full of wet shit. There is a Rickshaw in my neighborhood, and after the douche bag in the truck serves you your dumplings you bite into some wet greasy meat and wonder where your six bucks went.

Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream: This Mr softy alternative should appeal to hippies who worry about biodegradable cups and organic ingredients. For people like me who worry mainly about taste this truck doesn't disappoint either. The truck has limited flavor options, but where you get the quality is in the ingredients. Besides being eco-friendly all that organic milk and cream gives the ice cream a freshness that depending on how much you like ice cream, will justify the hefty price. I've sighted these trucks in SoHo, Park Slope and the West Village.

PizzaMoto: I've never eaten at one of these but i'm seriously considering tracking one of these red trucks down after I learned that the franchise is run by a former a Franny's chef. PizzaMoto isn't really a truck, more like a mobile kitchen. The truck part hauls a boat trailer with a real brick oven mounted on the back, serving hot out of the oven pizza to brooklynites in Dumbo and Fort Greene.

Kogi Korean BBQ To Go: These trucks have only made infrequent appearances in NYC from LA, but a permanent NY operation is in the works. Kogi trucks serve everything Korean BBQ, including short ribs, pork bellies, and spicy chicken. Maybe its because I love Korean food but this is my favorite food truck. Each dish is served taco style in a wrap, with a decent amount of meat and veggies inside, all at a reasonable price. Kogi trucks have appeared only at festivals and special events in NYC but keep a look out for their permanent fleet in the future.

benihana tyler perry drama

2009-06-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Let me just say this review isnt about the food, reviewing Benihana for the food is like reviewing Applebees for the food . Recently my boy got a gift card to Benihana, or as they call them Benigrams (seriously). The card was for 50$, too much for one man to spend at the joint so he nicely invited me along. I'm always skeptical of places which rely on entertainment to sell food, but I wasn't about to turn down a free meal, and hibachi cuisine when done right can actually be quite good. Since its not economical for the chef to cook for just two people we were seated with a huge family which spread out over two tables. These people (YOU PEOPLE?!) walked straight out of barbershop 5. Before the chef arrived each of them sent back their daiquiri for extra shots, needless to say I was a little uncomfortable but as the lady next to me said "dont haaatee." Our chef arrived, his name was Roy and he was Indian, I was a little jealous because the other table got a chef named yoshi and he was Japanese (the country where Hibachi originates from). Roy started to do his thing, chopping onions real fast and making volcanos. The family was quite impressed, "he is a gangster" the dad proclaimed, "we got a chef over here." The yoshi table wasn't gonna take that "awww nooo our chef is doing his thang over here," they shouted. Honestly I have no idea what they said next but to me it sounded like "whoeehhh in dis in got the real clean look withadat knifing shit inthis grill joint." If you can understand this you could have understood that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b61D0lSw2TY . Having your food made in front of you at this place shows you how shity it is. Roy slapped some nice looking pieces of chicken on the grill, drenched them in soy sauce, slapped on a wad of garlic butter, and then cut them up really fast all the while banging on the grill and shouting "oh yehhhhh, ohheyyyehhhhhhhhh." My friend got the steak which was so undercooked I had to spit it out when i tried a piece (which is hard to do when the chef is in front of you). The family around me got the fried rice which actually looked very good, but unfortunately I couldn't try any. I was pretty disappointed in Roy. Gangster status aside he mainly just slapped the table and yelled oh yeh, instead of concentrating on cooking our food. Whatever despite the horrible amounts of sauce in my chicken I enjoyed it, im not a hater.

K.orean F.ried C.hicken

2009-06-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Im a little late on this trend. About a year ago I started to hear a lot about Korean Fried Chicken both from friends and from the NY times dinning section. Embarrassingly enough for me (especially since I'm part Korean) I had never had the stuff and it wasn't until last night that I got a chance to taste it. The bird came from Bon Chon, a Korean chain which is gaining popularity in New York (locations include one store downtown, one in Flushing, and one in midtown). I must admit I didn't actually go to the restaurant, we ordered in (apples to apples was getting intense and we couldn't leave the table). I had Bon Chon's basic dish, non spicy boneless chicken pieces. Each piece is about the size of a mcnugget, but tastes about as good as a mcnugget sprinkled with E. Each Gooknugget (mcnuggest for micks, gooknuggest for gooks) is really a master piece of deep frying. Most fried chicken you get in the states has been heavily breaded, and is wrapped in a crusty coat of grease and fried skin. Dont get me wrong this style of chicken when pulled off well (Blue Ribbon) is a pleasure to eat. But Bon Chon's lightly breaded pieces were a welcome refreshment from a lifetime of American style nuggets. What sets Bon Chon's gooknuggets apart is that their crust is actually rather thin and light, yet still crunchy and crisp. Also a problem that plagues most friend chicken, dryness, is not an issue with Bon Cohn. Each piece is moist and juicy, but not dripping with grease. Achieving this balance must require careful frying, and props to Bon Chon for bringing asian precision to the fried chicken game.

rules of Bumming Vol 6: Girls Don't Eat Much

2009-06-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

Maybe its a sign of the unfair pressure that our modern day American society lumps onto its women, but bitches sure dont eat that much. A lot of the time when i'm out to eat in the company of women, I look up from my cleaned plate only to notice my companion has barley dented their meal. Take advantage of this and chow down. When your out with your female friends suggest a lunch stop and then play the trash man picking up all their leftovers. I once ate at a Nathan's with 3 girls and got the biscuits from one girl, the mashed potatoes from the other, and a piece of chicken from the third, a whole fucking meal free! Obviously if your on a date or trying to impress the girl, finishing her meal for her isnt a good look (trust me), but when your out with a group or "just a friend" its totally acceptable. If your feeling cocky you can suggest a meal for the girl to get, which you will then enjoy. For example

You: (thinking) I really want some mac and cheese

You: (speaking) Hey you should get the mac and cheese I hear its really good.

Girl: Ok, ill have one mac and cheese please (to clerk). Hey what are you getting.

You: Oh me? im on a diet. (this is a good excuse because it reminds them maybe they should be on a diet too, and you get more leftovers)

This is probably a trend more apparent with young girls and women and most likely wont work with your mom or grandma (Grandma will cook you any food you want anyway).

Park Slope is For Dog people

2009-05-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

Recently there was a rumor going around that Shake Shack was opening up a store front in the Park Slope area. Unfortunately this rumor turned out to be untrue, but the rumored Shack site is going to be home to another highbrow fast food joint called Bark Hot Dogs. This wouldn't excite me if the place wasn't run by former Franny's chef Brandon Gills. Defiantly gonna keep my eyes out on Bergen st for this place's opening.

Almondine Bakery Dumbo

2009-05-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Dumbo is maybe my favorite New York city neighborhood. Its one of the few waterfront areas in New York that has undergone a rise in trendiness and price and still managed to retain a degree of original character (the opposite would be battery park). For me a visit to Dumbo almost certainly means a visit to Almondine, located on Water st near main st. Almondine is a French bakery without any attitude. When I say Almondine has no attitude what I mean is the whole place feels welcoming and homely, not overly fancy and trendy like many other shops in this class. The bakery is small and often crammed,adding a vibrant feel to the whole place. Goods wise, you would be a fool to go to Almondine and get anything but an almond croissant. Croissants are difficult to perfect. They need to be buttery and have a crust so perfectly cooked that it weeps flakes when you bite into them but doesn't fall apart in your hands. On this Almondine delivers, with croissants that achieve an almost perfect balance between a soft buttery inside and a flakey crispy outside. The almond paste filling is very good as well. Its no surprise that the chief baker is French, and the rest of the menu is French inspired as well, but the menu is willing to compromise and offer a little more then classic French baked goods,offering for example a soft pretzel roll drizzled with melted cheese.

a Note

2009-05-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

This is a busy time for the me, so busy in fact that I being forced to neglect Ol Dirty to some degree. Of course this blog will continue t o exist and be back in strength once summer starts, but for the next few weeks expect posts no more then once of twice a week.

keep eating

More Uptown

2009-05-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

I recently came across Allen Richman's blog on GQ. He has a nice piece on prix fix dining uptown. For those that dont know a prix fixed meal is a three course lunch at a fixed price, usually for less then 30$. I have never eaten at any of the places Richman talks about, but I can certainly endorse prix fix eating. Theres something luxurious in itself about taking a good 90 minutes to eat lunch, and the relatively low price of most Prix fix meals will leave you feeling even richer. Check out the link and scroll down for a list of several places to pick up your eats.

PS: Richman also mentions the Per Se Salon I talked about in one of his earlier posts.

Up Town

2009-05-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

My regular readers (all 4 or 5 of you) may have noticed that I have never reviewed or even talked about any restaurants uptown. This is not because they are not worth talking about, in fact the best restaurants (at least as far as Michelin or Zaggat is concerned) are uptown. The truth is I've been reluctant to talk about such places because often your bill is around 300$ and I've questioned their relevance to this blog, since thats quite a bit of bread for my teenage audience to drop. But there are ways to eat relatively cheaply uptown, and at some of the best restaurants in the city. One such example is Per Se. Per Se is located in the Time Warner building overlooking Columbus circle and Central Park. Per Se has a reputation as the second most expensive restaurant int he city, next to nearby Masa sushi. Its tasting menu averages around 300$, and with wine you can add another 100 or 200 to that. Ive had the privilege to eat at Per Se for a birthday once, and while it was certainly one of the best meals I've had, I find the price hard to justify. When a meal costs that much the guest naturally sets their expectations extremely high. I wont get into why this meal was not worth 300$, instead I will talk about Per Se's much more realistic salon area. The salon, which is a fancy word for the bar area, offers a la carte dinning ( normal sized meal that people with normal sized wallets might be able to afford). The bar area is nicely appointed, with a formal yet comfortable atmosphere. An a la carte meal is anywhere from 20 to 50 dollars, and thankfully comes with extras since the potion sizes are very small. The food is similar to the offerings of the main dining room, French inspired with American influences. one thing you certainly get your moneys worth for is service. The staff at Per Se is both professional and approachable, willing to answer questions or translate French to English for you. The bar area is noticeably less formal then the main room, and guests often walk around or stand while they eat. Another high point of Per Se is its attention to ingredients. Each element of your dish packs its own flavorful punch, and the attention to details, from the way your duck is cut to the placement of the sauce, is very impressive. I have ever only eaten in the main room, but the salon has been favorably reviewed, and if the quality of the food int he main room is any indication, the salon might be the best deal you can get for a meal of its caliber.

Rules of Bumming Vol 5: Free samples...are free

2009-05-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

One of the most common and under appreciated forms of bumming is the use of the free sample. You can come across the free sample anywhere and any amateur bum can snag a free cookie or a 4 ounce latte sample outside starbucks, however it takes a true bum to know what places have the best free samples. The best places to raid (what we in the business call a hunt for free samples) are large grocery stores or small high end delis or bakeries. With regard to small shops, any place that thinks its fancy enough to call itself a patisserie is bound to have a plate of cookies at the register. Just come in and ask for some free water then snag a nice cookie to go with your drink, and bam, free snack. This may seem intuitive enough and not worth mentioning, but it takes a keen eye to spot the type of place that gives out free samples. Often they are on the upscale side, and they offer free sample sin the hopes that they will stimulate you to spend ridiculous amounts of cash on baked goods. Raiding large supermarkets is by far the easier approach. Not only do supermarkets offer a less intimate atmosphere where you can grab as many samples as you want without being grilled, but they also offer a wider range of samples depending on the aisle your in. Whole foods might be the best place to get free samples. The Whole Foods in Union Square sometimes has multiple stations for you to eat at. If your in Soho be sure to stop by Dean and Deluca for samples of the latest gourmet packaged foods. Often raiders mistakenly think there is a one sample per person policy, but I have found that often workers are willing to give out a second sample if you ask nicely and express genuine interest in the food they are giving out. Appear to really like whatever it is, maybe add in some "mmmoh wow uhmm, this is, this is top notch" if you simply eat one and ask for another you look like a bum instead of someone who just really likes food.

2009-05-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

Franny's, Park Slope

2009-05-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

I'm really very reluctant to talk about a pizzeria on this blog. New Yorkers are an opinionated bunch but pizza holds a special place in the hearts of locals. I've been witness to several arguments over the best crust, toppings, etc. Virtually every New Yorker claims to know the city's best pizzeria, and will defend this place to the last. I wont claim Franny's is the best pizzeria in the city, but for gourmet pizza I would be hard pressed to find better. Franny's atmosphere is nothing to talk about, although I will note that this place is often crowded with young couples and new parents over weekends and on Fridays. Franny's feels like an upscale pizzeria, the table clothes are white, and a huge brick oven is visible through a window in the exposed kitchen. What makes Franny's really stand out (and what you pay for) is the quality of it's ingredients. The family which owns Franny's has assembled an impressive network of New Jersey, Vermont, and upstate farmers to supply its restaurant with all of its toppings and ingredients. The Buffalo Milk ricotta comes from free ranging water buffalo in Woodstock Vermont, their Berkshire pork comes from Heritage Farms, their eggs come from Cooper Ark Farms, the list goes on. Of course what makes a Pizza is the crust, and the crust of a Franny's pie will satisfy any thin crust lover, with its soft crunch and perfect consistency. Franny's changes its menu in relation to the harvest of its suppliers, so the ingredients remain fresh, and their menu remains new and exciting. It's hard to make a recommendation for what to eat here, because of the changing nature of the menu, but I would suggest anything with sausage (whoever supplies Franny's sausage is a genius). Price wise Franny's is not too expensive. Its about as much as other high end pizzerias (10-20 dollars a pie about), add appetizers (which are quite good) and the bill can get a little hefty.

FusterCluck Day 3

2009-05-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

I've been posting a lot about this but its just so outrageous that i have to keep on coming back to it: Oprah really fucked up this time. A tipster on Gothemist said the following about a downtown KFC

"Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken ... or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?"

Ol Dirty Calls It

2009-05-06T18:16:00.001-07:00

In my last post I questioned the wisdom of having Oprah sponsor a KFC special. Looks like my prediction is coming true. The other day Oprah.com posted a note saying they were experiencing technical difficulties due to the massive downloads of the coupons. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the comment page:

"THANK YOU OPRAH, I WAS JUST NOW ABLE TO PRINT THE KFC COUPON! IT TOOK OVER 3 HRS.."

"I think I will be up all night trying to print the coupon...am not getting through and started thirty minutes ago."

"I got the coupon....no problem, but I can't use it in Canada"

"I'M MELTING CAN'T GET THE COUPONS PLEASE IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF GETTING THEM ???? HUNGRY FOR THE CHIICKEN"

people are getting mad

This Could Cause Riots

2009-05-05T19:22:00.001-07:00

if my previous videos tell us anything about the link between chicken and social strife then this move by oprah could end the US.

http://www.unthinkkfc.com/

Yonah Schimmel: Lower East Side

2009-05-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

The Jewish delicatessens of Houston street are no local secret. Katz's has achieved a near epic reputation as a haven for lunch meats and Jewish deli staples. Nearby Russ and Daughters has achieved a reputation as the local gourmets market of choice for smoked fishes. All of these places are excellent sources of the foods they specialize in, but to me Yonah Schimmel will be the Jewish eatery of choice. Its not so much that Yonah Schimmel outdoes Katz or Russ's (its knishes are the best in the city, but it doesn't offer half the foods that the other two do). Instead Yonah's wins in my opinion because of its authenticity. Its the only one of the delis where the man behind the counter has an eastern European accent, and the eatery had remained operated by the family of it's original namesake. The dining room is pleasantly nostalgic if not a little shabby, and the menu, while limited to Knishes, has enough variety of knishes to satisfy most of your moods. The Knishes are freshly baked and delivered by dumbwaiter to the dining room where they are served by the slightly surly but certainly authentic Mr Schimmel himself. Unlike Katz's Yonah's hasn't become a brand name, and unlike Russ's it hasn't began to cater to the rich. Its not the best offering of Jewish food (except for the Kinishes) but its my personal favorite and Ol' Dirty heartfully endorses it next time your near Houstan and First Ave.

Beef and Bros thats what Bistro does

2009-05-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

Even though my friends over at 4 o'clock eats have already favorably reviewed it, I felt the need for ol' dirty to weigh in on a West village favorite: The Corner Bistro, located on w 4th st. The Bistro has been around since the early 1900's and I don't think they've changed much since they opened. The place has a worn, used feeling to it. A stained mahogany bar is the centerpiece of activity, and patrons have carved their initials into the wood tables over the years. Overall the ambiance is not exactly pleasant, but its certainly not stuffy or pretentious, which fits with its laid back style. The only significant downside of Bistro's environment is that its full of assholes. I feel like every bridge and tunnel guy who wants to eat in the city comes to Bistro with their fake tan girlfriends. There was more then one "chug, chug, chug!"(cindy's style) chant while I ate there, and the tables were filled with 20 something year old bros and their arm candy. The Bistro is popular too. I went on a Sunday night and still had to wait 20 minutes to be seated. If the joint wasn't full of these people Corner Bistro would have a charming tavern feel, maybe if you go on a weekday you can experience this. Now pretty much the only food people eat here are Bistro Burgers. The Bistro Burger is a huge slab of juicy cow, with about 2 inches of toppings including onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and bacon. The toppings aren't really worth talking about, and I was a little disappointed by the bun which I felt could have come from a supermarket. But what really endears patrons is the meat. The burger was juicy, well cooked, flavorful, and at 6.75 for a large patty, decently priced. The fries were good too, although not spectacular, and at 2.50 also relatively cheap. If you can stand the bros, Bistro Burger is undoubtedly one of the best places to pick up a cheap burger in Manhattan.

Rules of Bumming Vol 4: Work the Town

2009-05-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ah New York. So much bustle so much activity so many events to go to, from art openings, to movie screenings, to street fairs. And you know what? A lot of these things have free food. The other day me and my boys Griff and Loaf were walking down the SoHo streets at night when we spied an art opening. Art openings are really fantastic. You go in and depending on the gallery there will be either an open bar or a hor'douvres spread. Most places if they serve any food will serve finger foods or those tiny water crest sandwiches, so make sure you grab like 6 or 7 of each thing if your aiming to fill up (keep an eye out for pigs in a blanket, these are like the holy grail of finger food). All these events have booze, but watch out because once a bottle of white comes out its usually gone in 5 minutes (its the art crowd after all). Of course there are many other events with free food besides art shows. Hit up your local culinary institute for free tastings, or raid Dean and Deluca for free samples. Take advantage of deals like Ben and Jerrys free cone day. Everyday I wake up and say "somewhere in New York someone is giving out free food."

Maison du chein

2009-05-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

The relevancy of this entry to this blog is questionable but I thought I should share something I noticed and got a kick out of. A summer ago I volunteered to help a pet adoption service which works out of my neighborhood. I have never seen a group of people so in love with dogs and cats as I saw during my time working with this agency. Throughout all the odd human animal interactions I saw one thing struck me as particularly weird. Since the shelter we worked at could not house all the dogs, we gave the dogs out to foster homes who would watch the dogs for a week at a time. Every-time one of these foster owners delivered their dog back to the shelter they always had to report what they had fed their dog. The list of things these people gave their animals would make any 3rd world inhabitants mouth water. One lady remarked that since her dog didn't like the shiitake mushrooms she gave him, she diced them and mixed in beef scraps for him. More commonly, foster care owners gave their dogs ridiculously fancy dog foods which even I would have considered eating if presented with one on a plate. Recently the LA Times gave 18 people Spam, Pork Liver Pate, Liverwurst, and Newmans Own Dog Food, and asked them to ID all of them. 72 % of the people asked ID'd the dog food as Pate. I have a dog, I understand the animal man connection. But I will never feed the creature that will happily burry its mouth in a pile of shit any food that can be mistaken as Pate. How do these people live with themselves I wonder? Feeding their dogs expensive foods only to find whole bottle caps and marbles in their dog's stool (as I have found in my dogs, not that I like rip it apart to look for goodies but you know...it sticks out). I think people like to project their tastes on their dogs, just like they do their children. Owners dress up their dogs, give them vegan dog food (it exists), take them to pet salons to give them haircuts. Even i'm a little guilty: I wash my dog with pantine pro v shampoo cause I think it smells good in my hair. But I make dam sure to feed her cheap food, because I'm not giving her pate if she don't appreciate it.

In Response to the Fishman Review

2009-04-30T16:42:00.001-07:00

Recently a self proclaimed literary critic, writing under the name The Fishman, reviewed this blog on a blog titled the Fishman Review(http://fishmanreview.blogspot.com/). At first I did not feel it was necessary to respond to this review but after receiving several comments regarding things mentioned in the review I have decided to issue an official response from Ol'Dirty. It took me a while to think of all the aspects in which the Fishman review was wrong. I paced around my computer and even went for a brief walk to try and calm my frayed nerves. I carefully analyzed and scrutinized every aspect of the review which I disagreed with in an attempt to formulate a significant counter argument to the consensus The Fishman comes to regarding this humble blog. After much deliberation and several cups of Earl Gray, and a few puffs on my pipe, I finally have figured out what I would like to say to the Fishman: Your a cunt and I hate you

Analyze that

Rules of Bumming Vol 3: The Tack On Order

2009-04-30T15:59:00.001-07:00

This move is only appropriate with your close friends who wont get very angry at you for doing it. When your at a non sit down restaurant (eg a cafe, a sandwich shop, a bakery), allow your friend to order first then as they finish add your order on to theirs.

Sample:

Friend: (to cashier) I would like two cookies, a cupcake, and a blueberry muffin.

Me: And one cupcake with that.

Friend: Oh Matt your so slick.

The objective is to put the person in the position where they have to cancel your order or pay for it. More often then not your friend will end up paying for it. Obviously use restraint with this one, as it is on of the doucheir moves in the book. Do it to the same person too much and you might end up in an uncomfortable situation. This move requires some guts, don't attempt it if you dont feel comfortable with it.

Popeye's Fucks Up Again

2009-04-28T19:43:00.001-07:00

In the Spirt of Chicken:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pyW6w5B7Aw&feature=haxa_popt00us01

I cant tell if its just a coincidence that no white people go to popeyes or if they just dont show them. (thanks for showing me this EP)

Blue Ribbon SoHo & Park Slope

2009-04-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

The Blue Ribbon family of restaurants is everywhere. The restaurant's owners run an impressive array of eight New York eating and drinking spots, with a planned cafe located in Williamburg's Brooklyn Bowl Bowling alley scheduled to open this spring. Although the namesake belongs to a wide variety of stores, including bakeries, sushi houses, bars, and restaurants, I will be talking about the companies main stays, its Brasseries (fancy French word for small restaurant). The SoHo location is 97 Sullivan st, and the Park Slope location is 280 5th ave. I have only ever been to the Brooklyn version, but the menus are nearly identical, with slightly more offerings at the Brooklyn spot. Despite the use of the word Brasserie implying that this is a small restaurant, Blue ribbon has no comfy small operation feel. The place is nicely decorated with comfortable chairs and a wood paneled bar. Overall the look of the place says basically "Im a expensive restaurant," and this pretty accurately reflects the new trendiness of Park Slope's 5th ave, as well as the fact that this is an expensive restaurant.

But enough about that what about the food. For your first time here you would be a fool to order anything but the fried chicken. You might be thinking "I'm at a classy joint i'm gonna order foie gras, or some other dish I will pretend to like" but do yourself a favor and go with the chicken. The chicken is lightly coated with not only bread but matzo meal adding a perfect crunch to the skin. The chicken itself is spiced lightly and cooked perfectly. Despite the crunchy outside, out of the three times i've ordered this chicken the inside has never been dry, but retained its moistness. Chicken portions are generous, and the whole thing is served with greens and potatoes, and honey on the side for dipping. The rest of Blue Ribbons menu is pretty good, although nothing is quite as spectacular as the chicken, and its all priced like it should be.

*

2009-04-27T18:22:00.003-07:00

*with regard to my last post Herpes is not fun to get or have

Come for the taco's, Stay for the diarrhea

2009-04-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a listing in New York Magazine that 3 "professional eaters" (losers) will attempt to eat a thirty six foot long taco on May 5th at Grand Central Stations Zocalo. The first thing I thought about was the massive case of the runs that these pros are undoubtedly going to receive for their endeavor. Let me start by saying that I like Mexican food. Mexican food to me is basically comfort food, cheese, meat, avocado, sour cream, in a easy to hold bun. I may be grossly over simplifying Mexican food here, but I like to call Mexican food the herpes of food, because its fun to get but not fun to have. The truth is I cannot thoroughly enjoy Mexican food because it wrecks my fragile digestive system. Nothing ruins a mood like enjoying a good meal and then running to he potty. The break down of my past trip to Mexico was pretty much as follows: 10% travel time, 10% shopping time, 30% sightseeing time, 50% toilet time. This condition is not helped by the huge servings that most NYC Mexican places give, and the fatty low quality ingredients they use. I wish the city had some fine dining joints from our friends South of the border, but if there is a gourmet Mexican place in nyc, one that uses fresh ingredients and moderate portions, I haven't found it. If such a place does exist let me know about it.

A conversation I had with a girl in my school regarding Mexican Swine Flu
Me: you went to a Mexican place? hope you dont get swine flu.
Girl: Oh my God how do you get that?
Me: Touching Mexicans
Girl: Shit i'm fucked.

Rules of Bumming Vol 2: Best of the Worst/ Do the Dollar Menu

2009-04-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

The truth is there isnt that much quality cheap food out there. How do you survive in this environment? You have to take the best of the worst. Fast food joints are unfortunately the restaurants in our range at this point in our lives, so i've come up with a few tips for getting at least a halfway decent meal out of one, while skimping on the wallet hurt.

1. Best of the Worst: Despite what the hippies might tell you not all fast food is the same. Just like any food there are levels of quality and goodness. Places like Quizzno's, while no fine experience, are better then place like Taco Bell in terms of ingredients and taste. Im not going to give you a list of my favorite fast food joints, but I will tell you my least favorite is White Castle (anyone who thinks this is ironic cause of a certain movie can go Fuck themselves), you have probably eaten enough fast food in your life to make your own list.

2. Do the Dollar Menu: A lot of fast food places have fine institutions such as the dollar menu. Thank God for the dollar menu, seriously wise use of the dollar menu can save you serious bank. For example a 10 pc mcnugget meal is about $7.50, with chicken, medium soda and fries. If your willing to cut back just a little bit, you can get 2, 4 pice chicken mcnugget snacks off the dollar menu, and a small fries off the dollar menu, all for 3 dollars (pull off the water trick from last volume to replace the soda). You have saved 4 dollars in exchange for 2 less mcnuggets and a few less fries.

Zucker's Bagels&Smoked Fish Tribeca

2009-04-26T08:28:00.001-07:00

The other day I had the opportunity to eat at a highly recommended bagel joint just off broadway on Chambers Street. Zuckers is known for both its quality bagels and its quality toppings so I had high expectations going in. The menu is standard Bagel shop fare, which is fine. I ordered a poppyseed bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon. Price of my Bagel: one dollar, Price of my bagel once I added smoked salmon: 12.05 after tax, ouch. Fish is pricey these days cause the Japanese dont know when to stop killing our swimming friends, so this was to be expected, but it still put a dent in my wallet. Luckily they didn't skimp on the fish, I got several generous layers of thinly sliced smoked salmon on my nicely sized Bagel. The bagel was forgettable, but still very good, where this place shines is with its fish, which, considering what I paid, was thankfully very flavorful and rich. The place does have some other menu options such as sandwiches and soups but none of them came recommended and they were expensive. I've since heard that if you want a real quality bagel you should take a trip to a place called Murray's Bagels, but Zucker's fish will certainly be hard to top.

Dressler Williamburg

2009-04-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

Dressler is not the kind of place you expect to find in Williamsburg. There is a complete lack of skinny jeans, there are not a million fixed gear bikes locked up outside, and you will see zero raybans. Dressler feels more like a transplanted uptown restaurant then a local favorite. Located just across form the famous Peter Lugar's, Dressler is a restaurant not to be missed. I recently had the chance to eat there and let me say it was one of the finest meals I've ever had in Brooklyn. The menu is pretty much French, or at least French inspired. I started with pan roasted scallops, which were perfectly cooked to just the right softness, and drizzled with white truffle oils. For my main course I hit up the dove, thats right dove. People in New York may have some second thoughts about ordering what is essentially a pigeon (I noticed that this entree has since been removed form the menu) but this was one of the most unique experiences i've had in a restaurant. First off they didn't try and disguise what it is, your presented with pretty much the entire bird minus head. The shit looks a little gross, I'm not going to lie. Birds (especially doves) have this whole image as being pure, beautiful, symbols of peace, etc, and here was a lightly fried one on my plate. Good thing it was delicious, the bird had been cooked in such a way that the skin had been thoroughly crisped, while the insides were still moist enough to not dry out your mouth, yet not overly moist as to be squishy or too soft. This joint ain't cheap, it's probably one of the most expensive places in Brooklyn, get someone to take you there for your birthday

Popeye's aint worth it

2009-04-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZ8dkLmsWs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ezoklet%2Enet%2Fbbs%2Fshowthread%2Ephp%3Fp%3D369197&feature=player_embedded

Ol Dirty x 4 o'clock eats

2009-04-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

I would like to announce a collaboration with my friends over at the offices of http://4oclockeats.com/. These guys know what's up in the village and downtown, an area which is home to literally hundreds of quality eaterys. The website is still a work in progress, but expect updates and possible guest reviews on Ol Dirty in the future.

Rules of Bumming Vol 1: Cup of Water/ Speak your clout.

2009-04-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

So I'd like to start off what will hopefully become a regular series on ODR, Rules of Bumming. Allow me to explain: As I said before my budget an my taste buds often do not compute, so I've devised a few tips maximizing your change at restaurants and fast-food joints.

1. This is really a golden rule, become a regular. This works more at cafes and sit down places then in fast food joints, where the staff changes constantly (who wants to work at a fast food joint). If you become a familiar face and manage to develop relationships with the workers they might start doing favors. No one is gonna comp your meal, but you might get the big cookie, or maybe thell turn the other way when your a dollar short. The guys ay my local sandwich shop usually throw in a bag of chips on the house for me, and anyone whose ever gone to Cindy's knows what being a regular can get you (FREE EDAMOMI).

2. Praise due to my friend L Jones for popularizing this one. Whenever your at a place where drinks are served by giving you a cup and allowing you to fill it up with your drink of choice from a machine, always ask for water. Free cups of water must legally be given upon request by restaurants, so when you say "oh ill just have a cup of water," turn around and fill that cup up with as much soda as you want. Some people might cringe at the illegality of this but I have never once been called out, and who wants water when you can drink suicide juice.

FIRST ENDORSEMENT

2009-04-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

I would like to officially throw what little weight this blog has behind City Bakery on W 18th st. This joint was awarded best hot chocolate by the 2009 city annual hot chocolate festival, and trust me its true. Strictly comfort food here, mac and cheese and fried chicken, and of course baked goods. There are some vegan options for you rabbit people out there. Everything is well prepared and you can tell the ingredients are quality. Hit it up when you can, watch out at night for drunk 30 year olds, it is the village.

Moim park slope

2009-04-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

So Im gonna start the posting off with some eastern flavor. A little while back a Korean restaurant opened up on Garfield place in Park Slope Brooklyn. Im always Down for new Korean food, especially if I dont have to shlep out to Queens to get it. On top of this the place opened up with a favorable write up in the times dining section, and some good user reviews on NYmagazines website. The first thing you will Notice is that Miom is nicely designed, fusing traditional Korean elements with crisp modern lines and materials. The second thing you'l notice is the balding Korean man in skinny jeans and a sport coat sipping a Martini by the door. Dont be scared this is the owner, dip past this herb and go to your table or he will try and engage you in broken hip talk.

FOOD: I ordered Korean style ribs and White Kimchi. Let me say that Moim is not at all an authentic Korean dining experience. The foods have been extensively modernized and westernized, that is the spice has been toned down and the soy-sauce has been thrown on. Thats not to say the meal isnt good. Each dish was well prepared, and I especially commend them on their perfectly cooked ribs. However some of their other dishes, such as their kimchi, were just so far from what Korean food should be that it was insulting. The place aint cheap either.

Overall no endorsement. Go to Queens for the real thing, Koreans practically own parts of that place.

Follow the Smell

2009-04-22T18:34:00.001-07:00

I lot of people I know have these, and I read some of them.... so I figured I could do it and I made one to talk about whatever I feel like... And mainly I feel like eating.

Food: I'm a poor guy living in NYC so i'm always looking for cheap eats, unfortunately I come from certified gourmet blood "Beer income champagne taste" as Grandma used to say RIP. So i'm always down for good relatively cheap food. Luckily im not all white bread theres a little yella in me so I likes me my Asian foods so Ill make sure to hit you with a good dose of food from that area of the globe.