Romera serves "leek infused water" and pond run off in latest example of scientific cooking done wrong.

I've been skeptical of scientific cooking for a while now but in light of the recent proclamation of El Bulli as the best restaurant in the world (I'm not a millionaire so I couldn't get a table) it seems to have gained some popular credence and of course imitators. One such place seems to be Romera, owned by Spanish Doctor/Chef Miguel Snachez Romera, which serves what they call Aqua Gourmond with each of their 11 courses. This is basically flavored water, but not the 50 cent endorsed vitaminy kind. No these are "the latest innovation in high cuisine, ingredient-driven waters that compliment the flavors and aromatic properties of each dish," according to the website. For example one course is complimented by a potato leek infused water. NY times food columnist Frank Bruni simply calls them "pond runoff." A prime example of too much fuss and not enough substance, do you really think your diners are going to be so impressed by the high concept of herb water (every course comes with an index card explaining the philosophy of the dish) that they're going to forget it tastes like shit?

California D Bags ban Foie Gras

Oh California, liberal enough to protect its farm animals from French people but not pass gay marriage. It was recently brought to my attention that the state of California is banning the sale and production of one of the most sacred of French delicacies, foie gras. The law, which goes into effect in 8 months, has been met with applause from animal rights activists, who argue that the process involved in fattening the duck livers is inhumane (it is), and meet with groans from foodies and Frenchies who argue that the stuff tastes really good (it does). For my readers who are not familiar with the process of making Foie Gras allow me to explain. A duck or goose, being a migratory bird, has an incredible capacity to gain weight. The bird is force fed (although not always)by tube, a diet of boiled corn and fat. This diet contributes significant fat deposits in the liver, which is then cut out of the slaughtered bird and slow cooked traditionally with a little bit of brandy or in a variety of other ways. I can describe to you how foie gras is prepared but I can't really tell you how it tastes, except to say that no food which I've eaten so few times has left such an impression on me. You can tell from the title of this post that I oppose the law, but unlike others who oppose the ban I don't deny that this process is inhumane. Below is a link to a New York times article which better outlines some viewpoints of people against the ban but basically many of them argue that the birds actually enjoy being fed, or at least don't mind it too much. I can't really tell myself that a bird enjoys getting a tube shoved down its throat so it can eat many times more what it would eat in nature, just like I don't think the lobsters most of us boil with no problem aren't in pain the whole time they're clawing at the side of the pot. The issue these foods raise is how cruel are we willing to be to animals to create something so delicious. Somehow I live with myself eating both lobster and foie gras. People tend to come up with excuses to justify cruel methods, like lobsters primitive neural systems can't feel pain (they sure act like they are in pain). I don't come up with excuses for eating these dishes. self indulgence plays a big part in my love of these foods, but there is a sharing aspect to it. I want other people to experience the joys of eating the dishes like soft foie gras confit served with apple purée,brioche croutons and cipollini onions. Chefs like Thomas Keller (who serves the afore mentioned dish at Per Se) bust out the goods when they prepare a dish like foie gras. There is an incredible respect in the food world for the animals we kill in elaborate ways. This sounds paradoxical, but anyone who has seen the preparation that goes into a foie gras dish can't deny the amount of care with which it is made. By banning Foie Gras you are essentially banning the one of the highest forms of expression for an art. Maybe not everyone can live with themselves eating foie gras, but we should at least have the choice.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/us/in-california-going-all-out-to-bid-adieu-to-foie-gras.html?ref=dining

Dog Food

I've ranted on this before but the NY times ran a recent article on people cooking for their dogs which reignited my hate for overzealous dog owners. I have a dog which I love, she sleeps on my bed, she is allowed on the couch, she goes out three times a day. But as much as I love my dog I have seen her do such adorable things as eat trash, eat plastic toys, and best of all eat her own shit. Which is why I will never cook for my dog and neither should you, it is not only time consuming and unnecessary it is insulting to the human race. The women in the NYtimes article actually had the nerve to feed her dog free range chicken. The only way my dog will ever touch a free range chicken is if she kills it herself or it falls off our dining room table. First, an animal that is content to eat shit does not care weather its chicken is free range or not. Second, have any of you ever actually watched a dog eat? They barley even chew they just wolf down whatever slop you put in their bowl like you've been starving them for weeks. Good food deserves to be savored and appreciated. Some owners try and argue that in fact dogs do appreciate their food more then we think. One friend told me he once watched a dog eat so fast it barfed into its bowl then continued eating through the vomit, I guess that's appreciation. The human equivalent would be if I liked my steak so much going down I decided to send it back up so I could eat it all over again as a smoothie. Nutrition wise dog food is actually better for your dog because its, you guessed it, made for dogs. I don't even have to look this fact up, I just need to look around at all the healthy dog food feed canines running around the world to know that somehow without roast organic chicken millions of tail wagging fuckers have lived for thousands of years. I mentioned before that feeding your dog cooked food was insulting to the human race and that's because there are people around the world eating trash who would much rather have the chicken you cook for your dog. If you find yourself eying up your dog's food saying "that could be tasty," you've gone too far.

Here is a dog video for shits and giggles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyKlNptQwc

Julia's Alright

So the holidays are over and by far the best meal I had was a little chicken dish that came out of that book known as "The Art of French Cooking" by a certain Julia Child. Now I've never really been into Julia Child, at least not since she became chick flick material, but after this meal I leafed through her cook book and she gets the ODR seal of approval. Lines like "boil chicken in melted butter," and "beat six eggs into cake mix" remind me of a time when people weren't afraid of what they ate. I don't think Mrs Childs could get away with writing such a book in today's world, what with all the calorie counters and diet freaks. Sure if the world ate like Julia Child cooked we may all be a little rounder, Julia was pretty dam round herself, she was also dam happy.

Happy Holidays form ODR

Its Christmas time people. The time of the year when families get together, the time of year when Jews and Chinese immigrants rekindle their secret yearly alliance to eat at each others restaurants when everything else is closed. Whatever you may be celebrating this season, ODR hopes your holiday is filled with good food you didn't pay for. Enjoy this link to GQ's guide to holiday entertaining, which should make you semi literate in champagne (which I was not considering It doesn't come in boxes), and this awesome picture.

GQ guide to New Years entertaining

ODR WINS FIRST AWARD

Well the competition was stiff but ODR beat out a crowded field for the "Most Misogynistic Blog Having to do With Food and Drink" award given by The United Feminist Front. Such excellent posts as ODR's Drinking for 15 year olds, as well as my post on how to take advantage of under eating women to fill your own stomach, were sited as fine examples of sexist blogging at its best. In an award ceremony hosted by Kanye West and interrupted by me I thanked my mom for inspiring my dickyness with her in your face feminism. Love you Mom!

Cheers!

Hatties is for Lovers

Sooner or later I'm going to have to accept that I don't live in New York City anymore and start talking about restaurants which are near me. So for my first review Saratoga Springs Ol' Dirty would like to talk about Hattie's Restaurant. The other day a girl was talking to me about what her and her bf/hookup/whatever you kids call it these days were planning on doing that night. As I pretended to listen she started to talk about which restaurant they should go to, which got my attention. Without hesitation I mentioned Hattie's. After a short pause she said "isn't that a Chicken place?" When I told her it mainly was she responded "I can't look sexy eating fried Chicken, its not date food" The first thing I thought was I would never date this girl she hates fried chicken, and second I thought she could actually look pretty sexy eating fried chicken. The truth is I have been around Downtown Saratoga eating out. I went to Max London's, I went to the Adelhpi, I went to Ravenous. Your going to get the most satisfaction for your dollar at Hattie's eating fried chicken with your hands. And its not even like Hattie's is some chicken joint like this girl was making it seem, its a well run restaurant with an upscale atmosphere. I've never stuffed my face with chicken in such a classy environment, I felt like the clothes I was spilling grease on weren't expensive enough (a lot of this probably has to do with the fact that it was race season and the crowd was upscale). Don't think Hattie's is unfriendly though simply because it is well decorated, the waitresses were more then willing to explain the menu items which only a regular or a southerner would know. The massive chef was even walking around talking to diners (note that if your fried chicken chef is fat its a good thing). I later found out that the chef, whose name is Jasper Alexander even gained his credentials at NYC restaurants like Gotham Bar and Grill, and Gramercy Tavern, which satisfied the NYC snob side of me. Of course the atmosphere and the staff wouldn't matter if the food was bad. The Hattie's chicken recipe was brought from the South by Hattie Gray in 1938, and I doubt it has changed much since. The chicken is no frills, moist on the inside, flaky on the outside. When we are talking about American fried chicken the only really important thing is the balance between moist and crisp and Hattie's handles the balance beautifully. There are no revolutionary seasonings or sauces its just good fundamental chicken. Pair the chicken with a side like coleslaw and mashed potatoes. Obviously there is more on the menu then chicken but in my opinion going to Hattie's for anything but chicken is like watching a porno movie for the acting. No matter what you get your going to leave stuffed and satisfied and maybe even...sexy?

Pigs

Not all meat is created equal, there are those meats that are saved for special occasions and for me its pork. I probably eat beef every other day (lol pun) and chicken at least once a week, but pork. Pork is special, even sausage links are a special breakfast for me. So here is a list of the 35 best pork dishes is NYC, courtesy of NYMAG.

PIGS

Drinks for babies

Notice the dank drink cozy! An excellent way to tag drinking pictures on Facebook without worrying that your boss at the ice cream shop is going to fire you.


So you fifteen and you decided its about time to start drinking because that cool kid at your school who wears DC everything told you how fun it was that time he played super smash bros "fucking smashed bro." The only problem is alcohol is so yuckers! I mean beer tastes like someone boiled a grandma and then bottled the water so how am I going to get fucking smashed too? Look no further then OLD DIRTY RESTAURANTS GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR PUSSIES:

Mikes Hard Lemonade: The truth is this stuff tastes pretty good, almost like a very popular citrus beverage whose name I forget, oh yeh lemonade. Don't let those commercials fool you, Mikes is not for flannel wearing guys at pool parties, its for kids like you who like the taste of lemonade and want to get retarded. Mike's basically tastes just like lemonade which is sweet bro! All the fun none of the work! When your puking yellow your going to wonder what you drank to make you bang that fat chick.

Smirnoff Ice: Just like Mikes only it comes in even more flavors! YAY. This drink is so cool that a bunch of those older lacrosse kids at your school play a game where they make each other drink it because they like it that much, its called icing and you should start doing it. Theres even a flavor that comes already mixed with cola so you don't have to.

St Ides Special Brew: The dankest of the dank for you kiddies. Not only does St Ides taste like soda, but Tupac shouts it out in a song. You know Tupac the rapper? Anyway its popular among those urban people, so it must be cool! Watch out though, make sure you get the Special Brew kind with all sorts of good flavorings like mint and berry, if you get the normal stuff it tastes like piss with no chaser.

Four Loko: actually Four Loko is not for you you can't handle it.

PS: Yes I have personally sampled all these drinks but it was for science dammit...except Four Loko...that was just for funsies.

NYPD undertakes first four loko raid

I shutter to even mention Four Loko on this prestigious blog considering this is a blog all about taste, and Four Loko tastes like... like someone melted jolly ranchers in a can of Olde English. However this story is just too good to pass on so here it goes. Apparently Xiao Ye, the downtown Manhattan bar, promoted a Four Loko Thursday which the police took issue with. First off why would you serve deli booze in a bar to begin with. I guess it was only a matter of time before some sick (or smart) fucker decided to make a cocktail out of the stuff. My best guess for a Four Loko cocktail is one part Four Loko and one Roofie, and maybe some lemon juice, I would call it a "right to the point," and it would cost 23 dollars. Anyway I digress, NYPD got wind of the event and decided to kick down the bar's door (I don't actually know if this happened I'm just assuming they kicked down the door) and ,according to the bar's owner, proceeded to seize and allegedly destroy all Four Loko on the premises. The problem is the State Liquor Authority and NYPD say they didn't pour the booze out or even confiscate it, since they didn't have "an evidence locker for that kind of thing." I like to imagine that the cops did pour out all the booze prohibition style, and now there are some very drunk fish swimming around the Hudson. I would like to applauded the NYPD for trying to rid us of this drink, which I can only imagine is made on an assembly line of Oompa Loompas vomiting into cans.

Speaking of Four Loko I decided to write my next post on "alcohol for pussies" anyone with any suggestions please comment them or send me a text if I noe you like dat.

Rules of Bumming vol 10: Your Friends in college come from all sorts of places, some of these places have good food.

No one really likes the food they're served in college. I go to a school with excellent food (compared to other colleges anyway). A decent percentage of the food I eat in my school's dining hall is outsourced to local farms, the variety of food is impressive, and the execution is overall excellent. But no matter how good the food is Chicken finger Friday is only fun for so long, even if the Chicken fingers are good. So thats why I've worked the care package system like no ones business. I'm not saying that my parents send me a steady supply of food from the city (that would not be bumming), I'm saying other peoples parents supply me with food from their cities, and towns, and in some cases villages. Allow me to explain. Everyone in college kind of thinks wherever their is the best place on earth, and they are eager to prove it to their new friends. So whenever someone takes a weekend back home, or is on the phone with mom asking for a shipment of goodies, I just tack on my order. So far I've found that out of some weird desire to show me how awesome the village of Bumfuck is people are all too willing to shower me in their regions best food. So far I've accumulated 20 Montreal Bagels (see my entry on Mile End deli), countless bars of Vermont cheddar, apples from the Adirondack region, and a curious drink called Ginger Jack from an orchard in VT. In the end everyone is happy, I get my food, they get some respect, and its not like I'm cheating these kids out of anything. Its the parents who are paying for all this food, and parents money is like monopoly money anyway.

PS: if this makes me sound like a snobby New Yorker who gives out respect to other regions like its gold... well I kind of am snobby New Yorker.

Oh the seventies

My mother used to be a waitress at the Tudor City Hotel, a pretty high end joint back in the day. The hotel's restaurant was a formal place, waitresses wore crisp white uniforms and followed strict serving codes. The chef of the place was a Chinese man, and I guess the pressure of managing a kitchen at a high end hotel got to him because he was always high out of his mind. On day he was chopping a cucumber when he was hit with a brilliant idea. Stopping to put down his knife he unzipped his pants and slapped down his little buddy onto the cutting board next to the cucumber. He then resumed cutting veggies dangerously close to his exposed penis, all the while laughing and shouting "I'm the best chef in the world!" Kitchens are crazy places.

Care package

I have a pound of hard salami from Katz's in my dorm room, fuck ramen noodles.

Mile End

Anyone who knows me is aware of my intense love of Jewish deli food. I'm taking a pound of Katz's hard salami with me to college, and of course my well worn Yonah Schimmel shirt. Naturally I was exited when the food scene was lit up by the recent opening of Mile End Delicatessen, located right off Atlantic ave in Brooklyn Boeurm Hill neighborhood. The deli gets its name from a part of Montreal known as Mile End which is home to the city's Jewish population. What makes Mile End distinctly Canadian are its Montreal bagels, which are smaller and sweeter then their New York counter parts. I was a little disappointed by the bagels, which Mile End has delivered daily from Canada, not because they tasted bad but because they don't taste that different then your normal NYC bagel. However that was my last complaint about Mile End. I don't like to get extreme in my reviews, but I really was blown away by the quality and the taste of the deli's modern takes on Jewish staples. While the bagels and poutine (french fries in gravy with cheese curds) make the deli Canadian, it is the innovative flavors combined with traditional cooking methods make Mile End stand out from the established Jewish eateries around the city. In contrast to a deli like Katz's Mile End's smoked meats are heavily flavored, with herbs and spices rubbed carefully into the skin of the meat as it is cured. Despite the flair that extra flavoring brings Mile End's deli remains no nonsense, much in the tradition of other Jewish Delis. The smoked meat, as complex as it is, is served with mustered on quality rye, no frills, just like it should be. Even though Mile End's bagels may be from Montreal, you can still get them with capers and thin sliced lox, and even a spread of creme fresh. The deli's decour follows its no nonsense attitude, with clean wood and metal surfaces, minimal decorations, and a deli counter in clear view of the kitchen. In many ways Mile End will feel familiar to fans of New York Jewish food, but it is certainly and exciting and delicious new niche for a cuisine known more for tradition then innovation.

Herbal seasoning

Big thanks to loaf for pointing out this article on weed use in NYC kitchens.

NY Times Article

King of Meat

High end meat is a craze. This sounds like an obvious statement, since when have people ever not liked good meat? But look at the popularity of places like Shake Shack, Good Burger, and the Spotted Pig and you can see that more an more New Yorkers are caring about the quality of their meet. High end burgers alone have created their own micro craze within the wider meat craze, driven partially by the success of places like Shake Shack, and partially by the availability of high end meat for relatively cheap prices. These two things (at least in New York) are largely a product of one wholesale meat company, LaFrieda Wholesale Meat Purveyors. Owned by brothers Pat and Mark, LaFrieda supplies, to name only a few, Shake Shack, Union Square Cafe, The Spotted Pig, Bluesmoke, and Five Napkin Burger. As described in their recent NY mag write up the brothers cornered the market by understanding the base desire of all high end restaurants, to give the customer something they can't get anywhere else. In line with this understanding is the LaFrieda's practice of giving each restaurant a specialized blend. So while the meat going to shake shack and the spotted pig comes from the same cows, and is made in the same machines, the differing rations of chuck, skirt steak, and rib create unique ground beef for each restaurant. As much credit as we give to chefs like Danny Meyers for bringing the burger into the limelight, these two have been quietly building up the burger from behind the scenes by throwing better and better meats into the grinder. The newest blend from the LaFrieda's in the Black Label Buger, which is made of ground dry aged rib eye. Grinding up this cut is the food equivalent of melting down a Ferrari because you need steel, at least to the traditional chef. But LaFrieda's willingness to experiment with blends could just be what is driving the latest New York food fad. If you look at LaFrieda's client list almost every restaurant is new, Pat LaFrieda even snubbed the old guard Peter Lugar's due to work ethic issues. It's not too far fetched to say that these brothers are the driving force behind the patties at most of New York new and notable restaurants.

Five Guys

INC magazine recently ran an interview with five guys creator and owner Jerry Murrell regarding his fast food burger philosophy. Interesting piece on fast food done responsibly.

Article

ODR's Best April Fools Joke Award

Despite the large number's of food related April fools jokes, including a rumored mustache hair net requirement for NYC bartenders, the Award for the best (and cruelest) joke has to go to the jerks who rumored the opening of an NYC In and out Burger. Apparently those semi funny dudes over at college humor put up "coming soon" signs all over Union square and hired fake In and Out employees to pass out pamphlets. According to an In and Out rep the brand will most likely never make the trip out to the east because their beef comes from Southern California, like there are no cows on the east coast or something.

I got 40$ on it whose with me?

Hot dog truck for sale