Park Slope is For Dog people

Recently there was a rumor going around that Shake Shack was opening up a store front in the Park Slope area.  Unfortunately this rumor turned out to be untrue, but the rumored Shack site is going to be home to another highbrow fast food joint called Bark Hot Dogs.  This wouldn't excite me if the place wasn't run by former Franny's chef Brandon Gills.  Defiantly gonna keep my eyes out on Bergen st for this place's opening.  

Almondine Bakery Dumbo

Dumbo is maybe my favorite New York city neighborhood.  Its one of the few waterfront areas in New York that has undergone a rise in trendiness and price and still managed to retain a degree of original character (the opposite would be battery park).  For me a visit to Dumbo almost certainly means a visit to Almondine, located on Water st near main st.  Almondine is a French bakery without any attitude.  When I say Almondine has no attitude what I mean is the whole place feels welcoming and homely, not overly fancy and trendy like many other shops in this class.  The bakery is small and often crammed,adding a vibrant feel to the whole place.  Goods wise, you would be a fool to go to Almondine and get anything but an almond croissant.  Croissants are difficult to perfect.  They need to be buttery and have a crust so perfectly cooked that it weeps flakes when you bite into them but doesn't fall apart in your hands.  On this Almondine delivers, with croissants that achieve an almost perfect balance between a soft buttery inside and a flakey crispy outside.  The almond paste filling is very good as well.  Its no surprise that the chief baker is French, and the rest of the menu is French inspired as well, but the menu is willing to compromise and offer a little more then classic French baked goods,offering for example a soft pretzel roll drizzled with melted cheese.         

a Note

This is a busy time for the me, so busy in fact that I being forced to neglect Ol Dirty to some degree.  Of course this blog will continue t o exist and be back in strength once summer starts, but for the next few weeks expect posts no more then once of twice a week.  

keep eating  

More Uptown

I recently came across Allen Richman's blog on GQ. He has a nice piece on prix fix dining uptown. For those that dont know a prix fixed meal is a three course lunch at a fixed price, usually for less then 30$. I have never eaten at any of the places Richman talks about, but I can certainly endorse prix fix eating. Theres something luxurious in itself about taking a good 90 minutes to eat lunch, and the relatively low price of most Prix fix meals will leave you feeling even richer. Check out the link and scroll down for a list of several places to pick up your eats.

PS: Richman also mentions the Per Se Salon I talked about in one of his earlier posts.

Up Town

My regular readers (all 4 or 5 of you) may have noticed that I have never reviewed or even talked about any restaurants uptown. This is not because they are not worth talking about, in fact the best restaurants (at least as far as Michelin or Zaggat is concerned) are uptown. The truth is I've been reluctant to talk about such places because often your bill is around 300$ and I've questioned their relevance to this blog, since thats quite a bit of bread for my teenage audience to drop. But there are ways to eat relatively cheaply uptown, and at some of the best restaurants in the city. One such example is Per Se. Per Se is located in the Time Warner building overlooking Columbus circle and Central Park. Per Se has a reputation as the second most expensive restaurant int he city, next to nearby Masa sushi. Its tasting menu averages around 300$, and with wine you can add another 100 or 200 to that. Ive had the privilege to eat at Per Se for a birthday once, and while it was certainly one of the best meals I've had, I find the price hard to justify. When a meal costs that much the guest naturally sets their expectations extremely high. I wont get into why this meal was not worth 300$, instead I will talk about Per Se's much more realistic salon area. The salon, which is a fancy word for the bar area, offers a la carte dinning ( normal sized meal that people with normal sized wallets might be able to afford). The bar area is nicely appointed, with a formal yet comfortable atmosphere. An a la carte meal is anywhere from 20 to 50 dollars, and thankfully comes with extras since the potion sizes are very small. The food is similar to the offerings of the main dining room, French inspired with American influences. one thing you certainly get your moneys worth for is service. The staff at Per Se is both professional and approachable, willing to answer questions or translate French to English for you. The bar area is noticeably less formal then the main room, and guests often walk around or stand while they eat. Another high point of Per Se is its attention to ingredients. Each element of your dish packs its own flavorful punch, and the attention to details, from the way your duck is cut to the placement of the sauce, is very impressive. I have ever only eaten in the main room, but the salon has been favorably reviewed, and if the quality of the food int he main room is any indication, the salon might be the best deal you can get for a meal of its caliber.

Rules of Bumming Vol 5: Free samples...are free

One of the most common and under appreciated forms of bumming is the use of the free sample. You can come across the free sample anywhere and any amateur bum can snag a free cookie or a 4 ounce latte sample outside starbucks, however it takes a true bum to know what places have the best free samples. The best places to raid (what we in the business call a hunt for free samples) are large grocery stores or small high end delis or bakeries. With regard to small shops, any place that thinks its fancy enough to call itself a patisserie is bound to have a plate of cookies at the register. Just come in and ask for some free water then snag a nice cookie to go with your drink, and bam, free snack. This may seem intuitive enough and not worth mentioning, but it takes a keen eye to spot the type of place that gives out free samples. Often they are on the upscale side, and they offer free sample sin the hopes that they will stimulate you to spend ridiculous amounts of cash on baked goods. Raiding large supermarkets is by far the easier approach. Not only do supermarkets offer a less intimate atmosphere where you can grab as many samples as you want without being grilled, but they also offer a wider range of samples depending on the aisle your in. Whole foods might be the best place to get free samples. The Whole Foods in Union Square sometimes has multiple stations for you to eat at. If your in Soho be sure to stop by Dean and Deluca for samples of the latest gourmet packaged foods. Often raiders mistakenly think there is a one sample per person policy, but I have found that often workers are willing to give out a second sample if you ask nicely and express genuine interest in the food they are giving out. Appear to really like whatever it is, maybe add in some "mmmoh wow uhmm, this is, this is top notch" if you simply eat one and ask for another you look like a bum instead of someone who just really likes food.

Franny's, Park Slope

I'm really very reluctant to talk about a pizzeria on this blog.  New Yorkers are an opinionated bunch but pizza holds a special place in the hearts of locals.  I've been witness to several arguments over the best crust, toppings, etc.  Virtually every New Yorker claims to know the city's best pizzeria, and will defend this place to the last.  I wont claim Franny's is the best pizzeria in the city, but for gourmet pizza I would be hard pressed to find better.  Franny's atmosphere is nothing to talk about, although I will note that this place is often crowded with young couples and new parents over weekends and on Fridays.  Franny's feels like an upscale pizzeria, the table clothes are white, and a huge brick oven is visible through a window in the exposed kitchen.  What makes Franny's really stand out (and what you pay for) is the quality of it's ingredients.  The family which owns Franny's has assembled an impressive network of New Jersey, Vermont, and upstate farmers to supply its restaurant with all of its toppings and ingredients.  The Buffalo Milk ricotta comes from free ranging water buffalo in Woodstock Vermont, their Berkshire pork comes from Heritage Farms, their eggs come from Cooper Ark Farms, the list goes on.  Of course what makes a Pizza is the crust, and the crust of a Franny's pie will satisfy any thin crust lover, with its soft crunch and perfect consistency.  Franny's changes its menu in relation to the harvest of its suppliers, so the ingredients remain fresh, and their menu remains new and exciting.  It's hard to make a recommendation for what to eat here, because of the changing nature of the menu, but I would suggest anything with sausage (whoever supplies Franny's sausage is a genius).  Price wise Franny's is not too expensive.  Its about as much as other high end pizzerias (10-20 dollars a pie about), add appetizers (which are quite good) and the bill can get a little hefty.    

FusterCluck Day 3

I've been posting a lot about this but its just so outrageous that i have to keep on coming back to it: Oprah really fucked up this time.  A tipster on Gothemist said the following about a downtown KFC

 "Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken ... or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?"

Ol Dirty Calls It

In my last post I questioned the wisdom of having Oprah sponsor a KFC special. Looks like my prediction is coming true. The other day Oprah.com posted a note saying they were experiencing technical difficulties due to the massive downloads of the coupons. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the comment page:

"THANK YOU OPRAH, I WAS JUST NOW ABLE TO PRINT THE KFC COUPON! IT TOOK OVER 3 HRS.."

"I think I will be up all night trying to print the coupon...am not getting through and started thirty minutes ago."

"I got the coupon....no problem, but I can't use it in Canada"

"I'M MELTING CAN'T GET THE COUPONS PLEASE IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF GETTING THEM ???? HUNGRY FOR THE CHIICKEN"

people are getting mad

This Could Cause Riots

if my previous videos tell us anything about the link between chicken and social strife then this move by oprah could end the US.  

http://www.unthinkkfc.com/

Yonah Schimmel: Lower East Side

The Jewish delicatessens of Houston street are no local secret. Katz's has achieved a near epic reputation as a haven for lunch meats and Jewish deli staples. Nearby Russ and Daughters has achieved a reputation as the local gourmets market of choice for smoked fishes. All of these places are excellent sources of the foods they specialize in, but to me Yonah Schimmel will be the Jewish eatery of choice. Its not so much that Yonah Schimmel outdoes Katz or Russ's (its knishes are the best in the city, but it doesn't offer half the foods that the other two do). Instead Yonah's wins in my opinion because of its authenticity. Its the only one of the delis where the man behind the counter has an eastern European accent, and the eatery had remained operated by the family of it's original namesake. The dining room is pleasantly nostalgic if not a little shabby, and the menu, while limited to Knishes, has enough variety of knishes to satisfy most of your moods. The Knishes are freshly baked and delivered by dumbwaiter to the dining room where they are served by the slightly surly but certainly authentic Mr Schimmel himself. Unlike Katz's Yonah's hasn't become a brand name, and unlike Russ's it hasn't began to cater to the rich. Its not the best offering of Jewish food (except for the Kinishes) but its my personal favorite and Ol' Dirty heartfully endorses it next time your near Houstan and First Ave.

Beef and Bros thats what Bistro does

Even though my friends over at 4 o'clock eats have already favorably reviewed it, I felt the need for ol' dirty to weigh in on a West village favorite: The Corner Bistro, located on w 4th st. The Bistro has been around since the early 1900's and I don't think they've changed much since they opened. The place has a worn, used feeling to it. A stained mahogany bar is the centerpiece of activity, and patrons have carved their initials into the wood tables over the years. Overall the ambiance is not exactly pleasant, but its certainly not stuffy or pretentious, which fits with its laid back style. The only significant downside of Bistro's environment is that its full of assholes. I feel like every bridge and tunnel guy who wants to eat in the city comes to Bistro with their fake tan girlfriends. There was more then one "chug, chug, chug!"(cindy's style) chant while I ate there, and the tables were filled with 20 something year old bros and their arm candy. The Bistro is popular too. I went on a Sunday night and still had to wait 20 minutes to be seated. If the joint wasn't full of these people Corner Bistro would have a charming tavern feel, maybe if you go on a weekday you can experience this. Now pretty much the only food people eat here are Bistro Burgers. The Bistro Burger is a huge slab of juicy cow, with about 2 inches of toppings including onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and bacon. The toppings aren't really worth talking about, and I was a little disappointed by the bun which I felt could have come from a supermarket. But what really endears patrons is the meat. The burger was juicy, well cooked, flavorful, and at 6.75 for a large patty, decently priced. The fries were good too, although not spectacular, and at 2.50 also relatively cheap. If you can stand the bros, Bistro Burger is undoubtedly one of the best places to pick up a cheap burger in Manhattan.

Rules of Bumming Vol 4: Work the Town

Ah New York. So much bustle so much activity so many events to go to, from art openings, to movie screenings, to street fairs. And you know what? A lot of these things have free food. The other day me and my boys Griff and Loaf were walking down the SoHo streets at night when we spied an art opening. Art openings are really fantastic. You go in and depending on the gallery there will be either an open bar or a hor'douvres spread. Most places if they serve any food will serve finger foods or those tiny water crest sandwiches, so make sure you grab like 6 or 7 of each thing if your aiming to fill up (keep an eye out for pigs in a blanket, these are like the holy grail of finger food). All these events have booze, but watch out because once a bottle of white comes out its usually gone in 5 minutes (its the art crowd after all). Of course there are many other events with free food besides art shows. Hit up your local culinary institute for free tastings, or raid Dean and Deluca for free samples. Take advantage of deals like Ben and Jerrys free cone day. Everyday I wake up and say "somewhere in New York someone is giving out free food."

Maison du chein

The relevancy of this entry to this blog is questionable but I thought I should share something I noticed and got a kick out of. A summer ago I volunteered to help a pet adoption service which works out of my neighborhood. I have never seen a group of people so in love with dogs and cats as I saw during my time working with this agency. Throughout all the odd human animal interactions I saw one thing struck me as particularly weird. Since the shelter we worked at could not house all the dogs, we gave the dogs out to foster homes who would watch the dogs for a week at a time. Every-time one of these foster owners delivered their dog back to the shelter they always had to report what they had fed their dog. The list of things these people gave their animals would make any 3rd world inhabitants mouth water. One lady remarked that since her dog didn't like the shiitake mushrooms she gave him, she diced them and mixed in beef scraps for him. More commonly, foster care owners gave their dogs ridiculously fancy dog foods which even I would have considered eating if presented with one on a plate. Recently the LA Times gave 18 people Spam, Pork Liver Pate, Liverwurst, and Newmans Own Dog Food, and asked them to ID all of them. 72 % of the people asked ID'd the dog food as Pate. I have a dog, I understand the animal man connection. But I will never feed the creature that will happily burry its mouth in a pile of shit any food that can be mistaken as Pate. How do these people live with themselves I wonder? Feeding their dogs expensive foods only to find whole bottle caps and marbles in their dog's stool (as I have found in my dogs, not that I like rip it apart to look for goodies but you know...it sticks out). I think people like to project their tastes on their dogs, just like they do their children. Owners dress up their dogs, give them vegan dog food (it exists), take them to pet salons to give them haircuts. Even i'm a little guilty: I wash my dog with pantine pro v shampoo cause I think it smells good in my hair. But I make dam sure to feed her cheap food, because I'm not giving her pate if she don't appreciate it.