Happy Holidays form ODR

Its Christmas time people. The time of the year when families get together, the time of year when Jews and Chinese immigrants rekindle their secret yearly alliance to eat at each others restaurants when everything else is closed. Whatever you may be celebrating this season, ODR hopes your holiday is filled with good food you didn't pay for. Enjoy this link to GQ's guide to holiday entertaining, which should make you semi literate in champagne (which I was not considering It doesn't come in boxes), and this awesome picture.

GQ guide to New Years entertaining

ODR WINS FIRST AWARD

Well the competition was stiff but ODR beat out a crowded field for the "Most Misogynistic Blog Having to do With Food and Drink" award given by The United Feminist Front. Such excellent posts as ODR's Drinking for 15 year olds, as well as my post on how to take advantage of under eating women to fill your own stomach, were sited as fine examples of sexist blogging at its best. In an award ceremony hosted by Kanye West and interrupted by me I thanked my mom for inspiring my dickyness with her in your face feminism. Love you Mom!

Cheers!

Hatties is for Lovers

Sooner or later I'm going to have to accept that I don't live in New York City anymore and start talking about restaurants which are near me. So for my first review Saratoga Springs Ol' Dirty would like to talk about Hattie's Restaurant. The other day a girl was talking to me about what her and her bf/hookup/whatever you kids call it these days were planning on doing that night. As I pretended to listen she started to talk about which restaurant they should go to, which got my attention. Without hesitation I mentioned Hattie's. After a short pause she said "isn't that a Chicken place?" When I told her it mainly was she responded "I can't look sexy eating fried Chicken, its not date food" The first thing I thought was I would never date this girl she hates fried chicken, and second I thought she could actually look pretty sexy eating fried chicken. The truth is I have been around Downtown Saratoga eating out. I went to Max London's, I went to the Adelhpi, I went to Ravenous. Your going to get the most satisfaction for your dollar at Hattie's eating fried chicken with your hands. And its not even like Hattie's is some chicken joint like this girl was making it seem, its a well run restaurant with an upscale atmosphere. I've never stuffed my face with chicken in such a classy environment, I felt like the clothes I was spilling grease on weren't expensive enough (a lot of this probably has to do with the fact that it was race season and the crowd was upscale). Don't think Hattie's is unfriendly though simply because it is well decorated, the waitresses were more then willing to explain the menu items which only a regular or a southerner would know. The massive chef was even walking around talking to diners (note that if your fried chicken chef is fat its a good thing). I later found out that the chef, whose name is Jasper Alexander even gained his credentials at NYC restaurants like Gotham Bar and Grill, and Gramercy Tavern, which satisfied the NYC snob side of me. Of course the atmosphere and the staff wouldn't matter if the food was bad. The Hattie's chicken recipe was brought from the South by Hattie Gray in 1938, and I doubt it has changed much since. The chicken is no frills, moist on the inside, flaky on the outside. When we are talking about American fried chicken the only really important thing is the balance between moist and crisp and Hattie's handles the balance beautifully. There are no revolutionary seasonings or sauces its just good fundamental chicken. Pair the chicken with a side like coleslaw and mashed potatoes. Obviously there is more on the menu then chicken but in my opinion going to Hattie's for anything but chicken is like watching a porno movie for the acting. No matter what you get your going to leave stuffed and satisfied and maybe even...sexy?

Pigs

Not all meat is created equal, there are those meats that are saved for special occasions and for me its pork. I probably eat beef every other day (lol pun) and chicken at least once a week, but pork. Pork is special, even sausage links are a special breakfast for me. So here is a list of the 35 best pork dishes is NYC, courtesy of NYMAG.

PIGS

Drinks for babies

Notice the dank drink cozy! An excellent way to tag drinking pictures on Facebook without worrying that your boss at the ice cream shop is going to fire you.


So you fifteen and you decided its about time to start drinking because that cool kid at your school who wears DC everything told you how fun it was that time he played super smash bros "fucking smashed bro." The only problem is alcohol is so yuckers! I mean beer tastes like someone boiled a grandma and then bottled the water so how am I going to get fucking smashed too? Look no further then OLD DIRTY RESTAURANTS GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR PUSSIES:

Mikes Hard Lemonade: The truth is this stuff tastes pretty good, almost like a very popular citrus beverage whose name I forget, oh yeh lemonade. Don't let those commercials fool you, Mikes is not for flannel wearing guys at pool parties, its for kids like you who like the taste of lemonade and want to get retarded. Mike's basically tastes just like lemonade which is sweet bro! All the fun none of the work! When your puking yellow your going to wonder what you drank to make you bang that fat chick.

Smirnoff Ice: Just like Mikes only it comes in even more flavors! YAY. This drink is so cool that a bunch of those older lacrosse kids at your school play a game where they make each other drink it because they like it that much, its called icing and you should start doing it. Theres even a flavor that comes already mixed with cola so you don't have to.

St Ides Special Brew: The dankest of the dank for you kiddies. Not only does St Ides taste like soda, but Tupac shouts it out in a song. You know Tupac the rapper? Anyway its popular among those urban people, so it must be cool! Watch out though, make sure you get the Special Brew kind with all sorts of good flavorings like mint and berry, if you get the normal stuff it tastes like piss with no chaser.

Four Loko: actually Four Loko is not for you you can't handle it.

PS: Yes I have personally sampled all these drinks but it was for science dammit...except Four Loko...that was just for funsies.

NYPD undertakes first four loko raid

I shutter to even mention Four Loko on this prestigious blog considering this is a blog all about taste, and Four Loko tastes like... like someone melted jolly ranchers in a can of Olde English. However this story is just too good to pass on so here it goes. Apparently Xiao Ye, the downtown Manhattan bar, promoted a Four Loko Thursday which the police took issue with. First off why would you serve deli booze in a bar to begin with. I guess it was only a matter of time before some sick (or smart) fucker decided to make a cocktail out of the stuff. My best guess for a Four Loko cocktail is one part Four Loko and one Roofie, and maybe some lemon juice, I would call it a "right to the point," and it would cost 23 dollars. Anyway I digress, NYPD got wind of the event and decided to kick down the bar's door (I don't actually know if this happened I'm just assuming they kicked down the door) and ,according to the bar's owner, proceeded to seize and allegedly destroy all Four Loko on the premises. The problem is the State Liquor Authority and NYPD say they didn't pour the booze out or even confiscate it, since they didn't have "an evidence locker for that kind of thing." I like to imagine that the cops did pour out all the booze prohibition style, and now there are some very drunk fish swimming around the Hudson. I would like to applauded the NYPD for trying to rid us of this drink, which I can only imagine is made on an assembly line of Oompa Loompas vomiting into cans.

Speaking of Four Loko I decided to write my next post on "alcohol for pussies" anyone with any suggestions please comment them or send me a text if I noe you like dat.