The most awaited guide in the NYC culinary world, from the people who put rubber on your whip

Well the Michelin guide is out. Bums just stop reading this now you cannot (or choose not to ) afford any of the good places in this book. For those that don't know Michelin is the famously selective restaurant guide which rates restaurants on a three star system, with three standing for a restaurant that goes above and far beyond the call of duty, using imaginative or extremely high quality ingredients, preparing distinctive delicious dishes, and having excellent service and atmosphere. Only five restaurants in all of NYC gained this rating, while six gained the two star rating, and several dozen received the one star rating. I of course being someone with a normal income have only been to some of these fantastic places, including three of the three star restaurants (I'm the same kid who makes you give him his pizza crust after you finished the slice). Of course the guide is totally unconcerned with price, which kinda pisses me off. Price is often (but not always) reflective of the value a restaurant places on its food. Some of these restaurants charge way to much for what they serve. Of the three three star restaurants I've been too only one, Daniel, I felt justified its price tag. The food I got at Per Se ( a three star restaurant) was better then the food I got at Dressler (a one star restaurant), but it wasn't 200$s better. But whatever, chances are if you pick this thing up to plan your nights dinner your either going out for a special occasion or your the kinda kid who takes cabs everywhere.

Check out the guide at ny mag, use the link on the right

Antics

ATLANTIC ANTIC IS TODAY, go eat bitches.

New York Mag Feature

Its no secret that Ol Dirty loves chicken, so here is a really fantastic slideshow of some of the cities best fried birds. The links at the bottom also lead to a nice map of the best fried chicken spots in brooklyn, as well as a ranking of some of the best fast food chicken.

http://nymag.com/restaurants/features/59438/

The pilgrimage

Few places in New York will make me travel long distances for ordinary foods.  Its the places that make me hop on a subway and take an hour or two for everyday staples that really earn my respect.  A perfect example would be Kat'z.  What does Kat'z make, sandwiches big whoop, but every now and then I hop on the F and trip down to Houston street

this dudes why

http://www.alwayshungryny.com/videos/behind-the-counter-katzs-deli/ 

tip him while he cuts and your gonna get a few more slices on your pastrami 

 

Beer fest NYC

New York City is not a place renowned for it's beers, like many German and Cech cities.  However as most New Yorkers know the city is home to several craft brewers of decent quality.  I'm no beer expert (www.beeradvocate.com/beer/101//topic:Beer), but I like to think my tastes are discerning enough to tell a good beer from a bad.  Well anyway the New York Craft Beer Festival kicked off this week, with 83 participating bars.  Although most of my readership probably cannot enjoy these brews in bars (cindys is a sapporo only joint), you can still get them in six packs and bottles around the city if you ever feel like not drinking piss water in a 40 oz one night.  Ive tried to pick beers which I think you can find in stores.

  

Brooklyn Brewery Monster Ale:  Aged beer? dont you only do that with wine?  Well it turns out that some beers meld flavors as they age.  This beers been aged since 2003 so you know whats good.

Avatar Jasmine IPA:   We know whats good with IPA.  I love finding this brand at peoples houses because I know there not content to drink shit like Budweiser.  The first thing your gonna notice is that this beer smells like a bouquet (leviish), and you can taste the jasmine, which might turn people off put this is pretty good and flavorful for a pale beer. 

Big A IPA: prob good for the 40 oz crowd who wants to upgrade a bit, because according to Jon Ludbaum the New York City Rare Beer Imports president (havnt actually had this one so im going with his word) this beer is 9.6 percent alcohol.  Besides being loaded with alcohol, this beer has a nice fruit taste without being like a bottle of sugar or one of those dumbass hard lemonades. 

Bum Report

The good people at NYC daily deals have informed me that for tomorrow until 3am restaurant.com is selling 25$ gift cards to over 800 nyc restaurants for one dollar. Extreme bums will stock up, normal people will maybe cop one for a gift. Either way check it out, there are some good places in a wide range of areas.

DBDB and the rise of burgers

The weird initials stand for Daniel Boulud does Burgers. For those not in the know Daniel Boulud is the genius behind uptown restaurant Daniel (where I had the best and second most expensive meal of my entire life). Why would a man with such credentials in fine cuisine stoop as low as to open up a semi industrial bistro that specializes in burgers? Because people eat shit tons of burgers that's why. The American burger has followed a similar path to another American icon the Levi's jean. When Strauss first put rivets in the 501 and made it available to the hardworking farm people of the American west he stooped the blue jean in working class lore. Nowadays however everyone wears jeans, and a pair of 501's goes for around 100 bucks. In the US hamburgers have long been associated with fast food, never a classy venture, but now they've crept into the trendiest of the trendy joints across new york and the world. Take DBDB for example. One of the places three types of burger, "the frenchie" has so many words describing the toppings and seasonings after "6 oz patty," that you should just skip to the part where it says 22$. Fuck, a burger for 22$? that's as crazy as jeans for 100$, or maybe its not crazy at all.

Alan Richmen gives a much better review then I could (probably because he gets a 300$ allowance to eat whatever he wants there and I had to use the money I had just gotten from using the coin thing in commerce bank ) head over to his blog to check it out, links on the right

sam ross

Well summer is winding down, and Ill soon be back at regular posts

here is an absolutely awesome website to tide you over

www.cheeseandburger.com//

more fish

Well summer is winding down, and people are retiring to their favorite beach spots for these last fleeting weeks. East coast beach life is the shit. I'm not a palm tree and tikki drink kind of guy, I like sail boats and lobsters. I've had the privilege of visiting a good deal of the popular beach spots in the east, and of course sample their local fare. In terms of food not all spots are created equal. In general the farther north you go the better your fish gets. The waters off Cape Cod are home to a hundreds of year old fishing industry, which not only supplies amazing food but adds a authentic feel to the place. Its very nice to be able to walk down to the harbor and see actual fishing trawlers, instead of yachts (Im looking at you East Hampton). Of course the low key vibe of the Massachusetts coast means that your dinning out options aren't as good as a place such as EH or Martha's Vineyard. The way I see it if you like to boil your own lobster then go to cape cod, if you like to pay someone to boil it for you go to EH. A nice in-between would be Martha's Vineyard. The Vineyard has its authentic fishing village parts, as well as its gigantic summer homes and pricey restaurants. The Vineyard benefits from being in close proximity to the Massachusetts fishing industry, and specifically the Welfleet oyster harvest. Wellfleet is a small town in cape cod known for its briney oysters, these morsals can be found in the vineyard (and also in some NYC restaurants at 8$ a pop), and of course in Welfleet itself. The places farther north also benefit from being closer to the famous Maine lobster, known as the best lobster in the east. The rule of thumb is wherever the fish comes out of the water, that's the place to be. Fish is all about freshness, so be close to the source.

p.s: if i left out the jersey shore its because it fucking sucks and nothing there is good.

sorry guys

Ive been a bad blogger recently.  The truth is i've been eating pretty shitty food lately.  Lack of money and time makes it so i'm eating at home pretty much everyday.  Ill try and get out in then next month.

OMFG

Bon Chon now has free sample wings.  

!  

Adrian Grenier

Fans of the male equivalent of Sex and The City: Entourage, will be tickled to know that the shows star is a member of the Park Slope Food Co-op.  For those who dont know the Coop's whole shtick is that it gives members discount food in exchange for them working a weekly shift for the market.  Reportedly Grenier was seen helping to unload produce from a truck.  Why the star of a hit TV show needs discount food I have no idea, but its funny to think that maybe Vinne handled your fruit.   

Trendsetting since day one

Below is a link to an interesting ny times article about how food blogs have begun to pay more attention to fast foods as the recession deepens, something ODB has done since day one.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/weekinreview/19bruni.html?emc=eta1

joie de vivre for cheap

In celebration of Bastille day, which I know Im late for, ODR brings to you a few of its favorite French eats that wont break your wallet.  

Bacchus:  Loctaed in the Boreum hill area of Brooklyn, or for pre gentrification types Gowanus, Bacchus is a refreshing addition to an increasingly crowded field of Brooklyn bistros.  The Atmosphere is comfortable and relaxed, but still retains a degree of formality (jeans are fine at Bacchus, but preferably ones you can find at barney's).  Theres a nice backyard are where you can dine on a selection of French staples such as hanger steaks and escargots, or something a little more contemporary such as a pear and goat cheese pastry.  Overall this place works because it serves good French food in an unpretentious setting.  Price wise a three course dinner will cost you around 25$, a steal for good French.

Bouchon Bakery:  Located on Columbus circle in the Time Warner building, and directly below New York's most expensive French restaurant Per Se, Bouchon provides a moderately priced lunch option with boulangerie style dishes.  Bouchon deals in quality sandwiches on fresh baguettes  and pastries prepared by Per Se pastry master Sebastien Rouxel.  Also the only place you  will find a French take on a Nutter Butter.  Cheap for French, but expensive for lunch, treat yourself one day if your ever uptown.  

Le Pere Pinard:  Im a little reluctant to put this place up because I've only eaten one meal there and it gets some bad flak on foodie websites, but its practically the only French restaurant in the Lower East Side, and at 16$ for a three course dinner its a good deal too.  A safe bet for a decent meal.          

MLE

This fourth of July thousands of people turned out to Brooklyn's friendliest slum Coney Island to watch the Nathan's hotdog eating contest.  The competitive eating league (yes MLE stands for Major League Eating, its a real thing), is dominated by one small Japanese man named Takeru Kobyashi, who unhinges his jaw and inhales food like some sort of Asian boa constrictor eating a mouse.  I like to savor and enjoy my food not stuff it down my throat, but the culture and scene surrounding MLE is frankly hilarious and entertaining so I pay attention to it.  This year, I guess driven by some weird patriotism, onlookers booed Kobyashi and instead cheered on native southerner Joey Chestnut to win the contest by 3.5 dogs.  In total Chestnut ate a ridiculous 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes which is 6.8 hotdogs a minute.  All in all a good time was had by all and we whooped the Japanese like it was 1945.

 Enjoy this link to a nice slide show of the show http://deadspin.com/5307965/the-nathans-4th-of-july-hot-dog-eating-contest-is-america/gallery/       

PS: also in MLE news Elephants beat humans in a hotdog eating contest the day before, 505 dogs to 143, they still cant make guns or cars.   

Rules of Bumming Vol 7: Sunshine Bumtime

Well its summer and the youth of America is coming of age in the world and venturing out to get their first jobs as interns, waiters, busboys etc.  The numbers show that a sizable portion of these jobs will come from the food industry.  Chances are you know someone somewhere who is working in some sort of food related establishment.  Cash in on your friends budding enterprise and cop some free grub!  A lot of the time low level workers can use their discount to buy you cheap goods, weather they work at somewhere as common as Starbucks or a high end ice cream place on the Brooklyn promenade (ask to use Calum's tab).  Of course all things in moderation, you wouldn't want your friend to get fired over giving out too much discounted ice cream (once again thats CALUM's tab).        

July 7th

Brooklyn Bowl will be opening on this day, grab your tight jeans and hop on your fixies were going to williamsburg 

Brooklyn Bowl to open this week

Some of you may remember a while back I mentioned a bowling/ dining joint opening in Williamsburg.  The ally, whose food is provided by fried chicken masters Blue Ribbon, is set to open sometime this week although the exact date is unannounced, ill keep you posted on this.   

Sad Moments

What does Michael Jackson have to do with food: pretty much nothing except his love of Jesus Juice. But still I think all outlets of American media should pay homage to a truly great performer and musician. Personal life aside no one can deny the impact Jackson had on American pop music and dance. Being in Germany right now its a little hard for me to keep up with the news and I know this post is coming a little late but its better to say something then nothing. Rest in peace Michael.

can i get a menu domkoff

Well here I am smack in the middle of Germany. I've been here 2 days and had three hot dog type meals, and its pretty sick. Ill devote this post mainly to the German eating experiance as I have found it so far. Like all of Europe Germany is big on the cafe. The main difference between these cafes and the ones in downtown NY is that you are expected to linger over your food, and I mean really take a long time. Dont expect to sit down in at a table and be served right away, I've found that it takes a good 5 minutes for a waiter to notice you, then another 20 or so to get your food, and then another 10 to get the waiters attention again to get your check. All this waiting is a little tough on a born and bread New Yorker like me but theres something enjoyable about taking a good hour to eat lunch. My cheif complaint about German cafe's is the waiters. In Germany you never tip more then one euro because the waiters get a significant salery. This means they dont live on tips like our American waiters, and this means that they could give a dam if they mess up your order cause youl only dock them one euro for it. This isnt just something I notice eaither, I watced an old German man reduce his waitress to tears because he was so feed up with the serive. When you do finally snag a waiter they luckily are patient enough to deal with a foreigner like me (the only German I know comes from World War Two movies), and are generally as helpful and nice as our waiters back home. What they lack in service they make up for in charm and food. In New York Ive been trained to pick a good eatery from bad, but in Germany any cafe you walk into it almost guarenteed to give you a decent meal. The quality of the food is simply better on average. Also NY cafes arnt in fucking Europe, which already puts them at a disadvantage. The first thing I thought to myself when I stepped off the train into my little town was "all the steryotypes are true." The part of the country that I'm in, for the most part, looks exactly like that fake Europe in Disney World. Needless to say the restaurants and cafes in Germany have a charm that no Ameircan reastaurant can easily match sicne they pretty much look like they hopped out of story book.

*this post is prob full of errors, sorry this whole computer is in German and I cant spell check anything (ok levi).

Live from Berlin

In one day's time I will be traveling to the fatherland for some R&R.  Over my ten days in Germany I'll definitely be eating as much meat, and sipping on as much quality beer as I can get my hands on.  Ill try to keep this blog up too date while overseas, but if not then see you in july.

Keep eating

We got trucks and trucks and trucks

Recently i've been noticing a load of new food trucks springing up around the city.  I lot of these trucks are complete rip offs so I thought I'd compile a little list of some of the best trucks and others to avoid.

The Mud Truck:  Not being a coffee drinker i'm going on the word of my old lady on this truck.  The Mud trucks drive around the East and West village, and occasionally venture into Coney Island for some reason.  Seeing the Mud truck's orange paint job driving down the street is enough to make any hipster jump out of his chucks.  I dunno what makes the coffee that this truck hands out so good (the website calls it mystery beans), but my mom goes crazy for it, and the prices are decent.  

Rickshaw Dumpling Truck:  These trucks are all over the place and they serve dumplings full of wet shit.  There is a Rickshaw in my neighborhood, and after the douche bag in the truck serves you your dumplings you bite into some wet greasy meat and wonder where your six bucks went.  

Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream:  This Mr softy alternative should appeal to hippies who worry about biodegradable cups and organic ingredients.  For people like me who worry mainly about taste this truck doesn't disappoint either.  The truck has limited flavor options, but where you get the quality is in the ingredients.  Besides being eco-friendly all that organic milk and cream gives the ice cream a freshness that depending on how much you like ice cream, will justify the hefty price.  I've sighted these trucks in SoHo, Park Slope and the West Village.  

PizzaMoto:  I've never eaten at one of these but i'm seriously considering tracking one of these red trucks down after I learned that the franchise is run by a former a Franny's chef.  PizzaMoto isn't really a truck, more like a mobile kitchen.  The truck part hauls a boat trailer with a real brick oven mounted on the back, serving hot out of the oven pizza to brooklynites in Dumbo and Fort Greene.   

Kogi Korean BBQ To Go:  These trucks have only made infrequent appearances in NYC from LA, but a permanent NY operation is in the works.  Kogi trucks serve everything Korean BBQ, including short ribs, pork bellies, and spicy chicken.  Maybe its because I love Korean food but this is my favorite food truck.  Each dish is served taco style in a wrap, with a decent amount of meat and veggies inside, all at a reasonable price.  Kogi trucks have appeared only at festivals and special events in NYC but keep a look out for their permanent fleet in the future.  

   

benihana tyler perry drama

Let me just say this review isnt about the food, reviewing Benihana for the food is like reviewing Applebees for the food . Recently my boy got a gift card to Benihana, or as they call them Benigrams (seriously).  The card was for 50$, too much for one man to spend at the joint so he nicely invited me along.  I'm always skeptical of places which rely on entertainment to sell food, but I wasn't about to turn down a free meal, and hibachi cuisine when done right can actually be quite good.  Since its not economical for the chef to cook for just two people we were seated with a huge family which spread out over two tables.  These people (YOU PEOPLE?!) walked straight out of barbershop 5.  Before the chef arrived each of them sent back their daiquiri for extra shots, needless to say I was a little uncomfortable but as the lady next to me said "dont haaatee."  Our chef arrived, his name was Roy and he was Indian, I was a little jealous because the other table got a chef named yoshi and he was Japanese (the country where Hibachi originates from).  Roy started to do his thing, chopping onions real fast and making volcanos.  The family was quite impressed, "he is a gangster" the dad proclaimed, "we got a chef over here."  The yoshi table wasn't gonna take that "awww nooo our chef is doing his thang over here," they shouted.  Honestly I have no idea what they said next but to me it sounded like "whoeehhh in dis in got the real clean look withadat knifing shit inthis grill joint."  If you can understand this you could have understood that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b61D0lSw2TY   .   Having your food made in front of you at this place shows you how shity it is.  Roy slapped some nice looking pieces of chicken on the grill, drenched them in soy sauce, slapped on a wad of garlic butter, and then cut them up really fast all the while banging on the grill and shouting "oh yehhhhh, ohheyyyehhhhhhhhh."  My friend got the steak which was so undercooked I had to spit it out when i tried a piece (which is hard to do when the chef is in front of you).  The family around me got the fried rice which actually looked very good, but unfortunately I couldn't try any.  I was pretty disappointed in Roy.  Gangster status aside he mainly just slapped the table and yelled oh yeh, instead of concentrating on cooking our food.  Whatever despite the horrible amounts of sauce in my chicken I enjoyed it, im not a hater.    

K.orean F.ried C.hicken

Im a little late on this trend.  About a year ago I started to hear a lot about Korean Fried Chicken both from friends and from the NY times dinning section.  Embarrassingly enough for me (especially since I'm part Korean) I had never had the stuff and it wasn't until last night that I got a chance to taste it.  The bird came from Bon Chon, a Korean chain which is gaining popularity in New York (locations include one store downtown, one in Flushing, and one in midtown).  I must admit I didn't actually go to the restaurant, we ordered in (apples to apples was getting intense and we couldn't leave the table).  I had Bon Chon's basic dish, non spicy boneless chicken pieces.  Each piece is about the size of a mcnugget, but tastes about as good as a mcnugget sprinkled with E.  Each Gooknugget (mcnuggest for micks, gooknuggest for gooks)  is really a master piece of deep frying.  Most fried chicken you get in the states has been heavily breaded, and is wrapped in a crusty coat of grease and fried skin.  Dont get me wrong this style of chicken when pulled off well (Blue Ribbon) is a pleasure to eat.  But Bon Chon's lightly breaded pieces were a welcome refreshment from a lifetime of American style nuggets.  What sets Bon Chon's gooknuggets apart is that their crust is actually rather thin and light, yet still crunchy and crisp.  Also a problem that plagues most friend chicken, dryness, is not an issue with Bon Cohn.  Each piece is moist and juicy, but not dripping with grease.   Achieving this balance must require careful frying, and props to Bon Chon for bringing asian precision to the fried chicken game.             

rules of Bumming Vol 6: Girls Don't Eat Much

Maybe its a sign of the unfair pressure that our modern day American society lumps onto its women, but bitches sure dont eat that much.   A lot of the time when i'm out to eat in the company of women, I look up from my cleaned plate only to notice my companion has barley dented their meal.  Take advantage of this and chow down.  When your out with your female friends suggest a lunch stop and then play the trash man picking up all their leftovers.  I once ate at a Nathan's with 3 girls and got the biscuits from one girl, the mashed potatoes from the other, and a piece of chicken from the third, a whole fucking meal free!  Obviously if your on a date or trying to impress the girl, finishing her meal for her isnt a good look (trust me), but when your out with a group or "just a friend" its totally acceptable.  If your feeling cocky you can suggest a meal for the girl to get, which you will then enjoy. For example

You: (thinking) I really want some mac and cheese

You: (speaking) Hey you should get the mac and cheese I hear its really good.

Girl: Ok, ill have one mac and cheese please (to clerk).  Hey what are you getting.

You: Oh me? im on a diet. (this is a good excuse because it reminds them maybe they should be on a diet too, and you get more leftovers)

 

This is probably a trend more apparent with young girls and women and most likely wont work with your mom or grandma (Grandma will cook you any food you want anyway).   

Park Slope is For Dog people

Recently there was a rumor going around that Shake Shack was opening up a store front in the Park Slope area.  Unfortunately this rumor turned out to be untrue, but the rumored Shack site is going to be home to another highbrow fast food joint called Bark Hot Dogs.  This wouldn't excite me if the place wasn't run by former Franny's chef Brandon Gills.  Defiantly gonna keep my eyes out on Bergen st for this place's opening.  

Almondine Bakery Dumbo

Dumbo is maybe my favorite New York city neighborhood.  Its one of the few waterfront areas in New York that has undergone a rise in trendiness and price and still managed to retain a degree of original character (the opposite would be battery park).  For me a visit to Dumbo almost certainly means a visit to Almondine, located on Water st near main st.  Almondine is a French bakery without any attitude.  When I say Almondine has no attitude what I mean is the whole place feels welcoming and homely, not overly fancy and trendy like many other shops in this class.  The bakery is small and often crammed,adding a vibrant feel to the whole place.  Goods wise, you would be a fool to go to Almondine and get anything but an almond croissant.  Croissants are difficult to perfect.  They need to be buttery and have a crust so perfectly cooked that it weeps flakes when you bite into them but doesn't fall apart in your hands.  On this Almondine delivers, with croissants that achieve an almost perfect balance between a soft buttery inside and a flakey crispy outside.  The almond paste filling is very good as well.  Its no surprise that the chief baker is French, and the rest of the menu is French inspired as well, but the menu is willing to compromise and offer a little more then classic French baked goods,offering for example a soft pretzel roll drizzled with melted cheese.         

a Note

This is a busy time for the me, so busy in fact that I being forced to neglect Ol Dirty to some degree.  Of course this blog will continue t o exist and be back in strength once summer starts, but for the next few weeks expect posts no more then once of twice a week.  

keep eating  

More Uptown

I recently came across Allen Richman's blog on GQ. He has a nice piece on prix fix dining uptown. For those that dont know a prix fixed meal is a three course lunch at a fixed price, usually for less then 30$. I have never eaten at any of the places Richman talks about, but I can certainly endorse prix fix eating. Theres something luxurious in itself about taking a good 90 minutes to eat lunch, and the relatively low price of most Prix fix meals will leave you feeling even richer. Check out the link and scroll down for a list of several places to pick up your eats.

PS: Richman also mentions the Per Se Salon I talked about in one of his earlier posts.

Up Town

My regular readers (all 4 or 5 of you) may have noticed that I have never reviewed or even talked about any restaurants uptown. This is not because they are not worth talking about, in fact the best restaurants (at least as far as Michelin or Zaggat is concerned) are uptown. The truth is I've been reluctant to talk about such places because often your bill is around 300$ and I've questioned their relevance to this blog, since thats quite a bit of bread for my teenage audience to drop. But there are ways to eat relatively cheaply uptown, and at some of the best restaurants in the city. One such example is Per Se. Per Se is located in the Time Warner building overlooking Columbus circle and Central Park. Per Se has a reputation as the second most expensive restaurant int he city, next to nearby Masa sushi. Its tasting menu averages around 300$, and with wine you can add another 100 or 200 to that. Ive had the privilege to eat at Per Se for a birthday once, and while it was certainly one of the best meals I've had, I find the price hard to justify. When a meal costs that much the guest naturally sets their expectations extremely high. I wont get into why this meal was not worth 300$, instead I will talk about Per Se's much more realistic salon area. The salon, which is a fancy word for the bar area, offers a la carte dinning ( normal sized meal that people with normal sized wallets might be able to afford). The bar area is nicely appointed, with a formal yet comfortable atmosphere. An a la carte meal is anywhere from 20 to 50 dollars, and thankfully comes with extras since the potion sizes are very small. The food is similar to the offerings of the main dining room, French inspired with American influences. one thing you certainly get your moneys worth for is service. The staff at Per Se is both professional and approachable, willing to answer questions or translate French to English for you. The bar area is noticeably less formal then the main room, and guests often walk around or stand while they eat. Another high point of Per Se is its attention to ingredients. Each element of your dish packs its own flavorful punch, and the attention to details, from the way your duck is cut to the placement of the sauce, is very impressive. I have ever only eaten in the main room, but the salon has been favorably reviewed, and if the quality of the food int he main room is any indication, the salon might be the best deal you can get for a meal of its caliber.

Rules of Bumming Vol 5: Free samples...are free

One of the most common and under appreciated forms of bumming is the use of the free sample. You can come across the free sample anywhere and any amateur bum can snag a free cookie or a 4 ounce latte sample outside starbucks, however it takes a true bum to know what places have the best free samples. The best places to raid (what we in the business call a hunt for free samples) are large grocery stores or small high end delis or bakeries. With regard to small shops, any place that thinks its fancy enough to call itself a patisserie is bound to have a plate of cookies at the register. Just come in and ask for some free water then snag a nice cookie to go with your drink, and bam, free snack. This may seem intuitive enough and not worth mentioning, but it takes a keen eye to spot the type of place that gives out free samples. Often they are on the upscale side, and they offer free sample sin the hopes that they will stimulate you to spend ridiculous amounts of cash on baked goods. Raiding large supermarkets is by far the easier approach. Not only do supermarkets offer a less intimate atmosphere where you can grab as many samples as you want without being grilled, but they also offer a wider range of samples depending on the aisle your in. Whole foods might be the best place to get free samples. The Whole Foods in Union Square sometimes has multiple stations for you to eat at. If your in Soho be sure to stop by Dean and Deluca for samples of the latest gourmet packaged foods. Often raiders mistakenly think there is a one sample per person policy, but I have found that often workers are willing to give out a second sample if you ask nicely and express genuine interest in the food they are giving out. Appear to really like whatever it is, maybe add in some "mmmoh wow uhmm, this is, this is top notch" if you simply eat one and ask for another you look like a bum instead of someone who just really likes food.

Franny's, Park Slope

I'm really very reluctant to talk about a pizzeria on this blog.  New Yorkers are an opinionated bunch but pizza holds a special place in the hearts of locals.  I've been witness to several arguments over the best crust, toppings, etc.  Virtually every New Yorker claims to know the city's best pizzeria, and will defend this place to the last.  I wont claim Franny's is the best pizzeria in the city, but for gourmet pizza I would be hard pressed to find better.  Franny's atmosphere is nothing to talk about, although I will note that this place is often crowded with young couples and new parents over weekends and on Fridays.  Franny's feels like an upscale pizzeria, the table clothes are white, and a huge brick oven is visible through a window in the exposed kitchen.  What makes Franny's really stand out (and what you pay for) is the quality of it's ingredients.  The family which owns Franny's has assembled an impressive network of New Jersey, Vermont, and upstate farmers to supply its restaurant with all of its toppings and ingredients.  The Buffalo Milk ricotta comes from free ranging water buffalo in Woodstock Vermont, their Berkshire pork comes from Heritage Farms, their eggs come from Cooper Ark Farms, the list goes on.  Of course what makes a Pizza is the crust, and the crust of a Franny's pie will satisfy any thin crust lover, with its soft crunch and perfect consistency.  Franny's changes its menu in relation to the harvest of its suppliers, so the ingredients remain fresh, and their menu remains new and exciting.  It's hard to make a recommendation for what to eat here, because of the changing nature of the menu, but I would suggest anything with sausage (whoever supplies Franny's sausage is a genius).  Price wise Franny's is not too expensive.  Its about as much as other high end pizzerias (10-20 dollars a pie about), add appetizers (which are quite good) and the bill can get a little hefty.    

FusterCluck Day 3

I've been posting a lot about this but its just so outrageous that i have to keep on coming back to it: Oprah really fucked up this time.  A tipster on Gothemist said the following about a downtown KFC

 "Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken ... or the cops are called. Racial epithets were being spewed, people who actually wanted to pay for chicken were facing a potential beatdown, and the manager ran from the screaming horde. Oprah, what have ye wrought?"

Ol Dirty Calls It

In my last post I questioned the wisdom of having Oprah sponsor a KFC special. Looks like my prediction is coming true. The other day Oprah.com posted a note saying they were experiencing technical difficulties due to the massive downloads of the coupons. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the comment page:

"THANK YOU OPRAH, I WAS JUST NOW ABLE TO PRINT THE KFC COUPON! IT TOOK OVER 3 HRS.."

"I think I will be up all night trying to print the coupon...am not getting through and started thirty minutes ago."

"I got the coupon....no problem, but I can't use it in Canada"

"I'M MELTING CAN'T GET THE COUPONS PLEASE IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF GETTING THEM ???? HUNGRY FOR THE CHIICKEN"

people are getting mad

This Could Cause Riots

if my previous videos tell us anything about the link between chicken and social strife then this move by oprah could end the US.  

http://www.unthinkkfc.com/

Yonah Schimmel: Lower East Side

The Jewish delicatessens of Houston street are no local secret. Katz's has achieved a near epic reputation as a haven for lunch meats and Jewish deli staples. Nearby Russ and Daughters has achieved a reputation as the local gourmets market of choice for smoked fishes. All of these places are excellent sources of the foods they specialize in, but to me Yonah Schimmel will be the Jewish eatery of choice. Its not so much that Yonah Schimmel outdoes Katz or Russ's (its knishes are the best in the city, but it doesn't offer half the foods that the other two do). Instead Yonah's wins in my opinion because of its authenticity. Its the only one of the delis where the man behind the counter has an eastern European accent, and the eatery had remained operated by the family of it's original namesake. The dining room is pleasantly nostalgic if not a little shabby, and the menu, while limited to Knishes, has enough variety of knishes to satisfy most of your moods. The Knishes are freshly baked and delivered by dumbwaiter to the dining room where they are served by the slightly surly but certainly authentic Mr Schimmel himself. Unlike Katz's Yonah's hasn't become a brand name, and unlike Russ's it hasn't began to cater to the rich. Its not the best offering of Jewish food (except for the Kinishes) but its my personal favorite and Ol' Dirty heartfully endorses it next time your near Houstan and First Ave.

Beef and Bros thats what Bistro does

Even though my friends over at 4 o'clock eats have already favorably reviewed it, I felt the need for ol' dirty to weigh in on a West village favorite: The Corner Bistro, located on w 4th st. The Bistro has been around since the early 1900's and I don't think they've changed much since they opened. The place has a worn, used feeling to it. A stained mahogany bar is the centerpiece of activity, and patrons have carved their initials into the wood tables over the years. Overall the ambiance is not exactly pleasant, but its certainly not stuffy or pretentious, which fits with its laid back style. The only significant downside of Bistro's environment is that its full of assholes. I feel like every bridge and tunnel guy who wants to eat in the city comes to Bistro with their fake tan girlfriends. There was more then one "chug, chug, chug!"(cindy's style) chant while I ate there, and the tables were filled with 20 something year old bros and their arm candy. The Bistro is popular too. I went on a Sunday night and still had to wait 20 minutes to be seated. If the joint wasn't full of these people Corner Bistro would have a charming tavern feel, maybe if you go on a weekday you can experience this. Now pretty much the only food people eat here are Bistro Burgers. The Bistro Burger is a huge slab of juicy cow, with about 2 inches of toppings including onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and bacon. The toppings aren't really worth talking about, and I was a little disappointed by the bun which I felt could have come from a supermarket. But what really endears patrons is the meat. The burger was juicy, well cooked, flavorful, and at 6.75 for a large patty, decently priced. The fries were good too, although not spectacular, and at 2.50 also relatively cheap. If you can stand the bros, Bistro Burger is undoubtedly one of the best places to pick up a cheap burger in Manhattan.

Rules of Bumming Vol 4: Work the Town

Ah New York. So much bustle so much activity so many events to go to, from art openings, to movie screenings, to street fairs. And you know what? A lot of these things have free food. The other day me and my boys Griff and Loaf were walking down the SoHo streets at night when we spied an art opening. Art openings are really fantastic. You go in and depending on the gallery there will be either an open bar or a hor'douvres spread. Most places if they serve any food will serve finger foods or those tiny water crest sandwiches, so make sure you grab like 6 or 7 of each thing if your aiming to fill up (keep an eye out for pigs in a blanket, these are like the holy grail of finger food). All these events have booze, but watch out because once a bottle of white comes out its usually gone in 5 minutes (its the art crowd after all). Of course there are many other events with free food besides art shows. Hit up your local culinary institute for free tastings, or raid Dean and Deluca for free samples. Take advantage of deals like Ben and Jerrys free cone day. Everyday I wake up and say "somewhere in New York someone is giving out free food."

Maison du chein

The relevancy of this entry to this blog is questionable but I thought I should share something I noticed and got a kick out of. A summer ago I volunteered to help a pet adoption service which works out of my neighborhood. I have never seen a group of people so in love with dogs and cats as I saw during my time working with this agency. Throughout all the odd human animal interactions I saw one thing struck me as particularly weird. Since the shelter we worked at could not house all the dogs, we gave the dogs out to foster homes who would watch the dogs for a week at a time. Every-time one of these foster owners delivered their dog back to the shelter they always had to report what they had fed their dog. The list of things these people gave their animals would make any 3rd world inhabitants mouth water. One lady remarked that since her dog didn't like the shiitake mushrooms she gave him, she diced them and mixed in beef scraps for him. More commonly, foster care owners gave their dogs ridiculously fancy dog foods which even I would have considered eating if presented with one on a plate. Recently the LA Times gave 18 people Spam, Pork Liver Pate, Liverwurst, and Newmans Own Dog Food, and asked them to ID all of them. 72 % of the people asked ID'd the dog food as Pate. I have a dog, I understand the animal man connection. But I will never feed the creature that will happily burry its mouth in a pile of shit any food that can be mistaken as Pate. How do these people live with themselves I wonder? Feeding their dogs expensive foods only to find whole bottle caps and marbles in their dog's stool (as I have found in my dogs, not that I like rip it apart to look for goodies but you know...it sticks out). I think people like to project their tastes on their dogs, just like they do their children. Owners dress up their dogs, give them vegan dog food (it exists), take them to pet salons to give them haircuts. Even i'm a little guilty: I wash my dog with pantine pro v shampoo cause I think it smells good in my hair. But I make dam sure to feed her cheap food, because I'm not giving her pate if she don't appreciate it.

In Response to the Fishman Review

Recently a self proclaimed literary critic, writing under the name The Fishman, reviewed this blog on a blog titled the Fishman Review(http://fishmanreview.blogspot.com/).  At first I did not feel it was necessary to respond to this review but after receiving several comments regarding things mentioned in the review I have decided to issue an official response from Ol'Dirty.  It took me a while to think of all the aspects in which the Fishman review was wrong.  I paced around my computer and even went for a brief walk to try and calm my frayed nerves.  I carefully analyzed and scrutinized every aspect of the review which I disagreed with in an attempt to formulate a significant counter argument to the consensus The Fishman comes to regarding this humble blog.  After much deliberation and several cups of Earl Gray, and a few puffs on my pipe, I finally have figured out what I would like to say to the Fishman:  Your a cunt and I hate you

Analyze that   

Rules of Bumming Vol 3: The Tack On Order

This move is only appropriate with your close friends who wont get very angry at you for doing it.  When your at a non sit down restaurant (eg a cafe, a sandwich shop, a bakery), allow your friend to order first then as they finish add your order on to theirs.

Sample:

Friend: (to cashier) I would like two cookies, a cupcake, and a blueberry muffin.

Me: And one cupcake with that.

Friend: Oh Matt your so slick.

The objective is to put the person in the position where they have to cancel your order or pay for it. More often then not your friend will end up paying for it.  Obviously use restraint with this one, as it is on of the doucheir moves in the book.  Do it to the same person too much and you might end up in an uncomfortable situation.  This move requires some guts, don't attempt it if you dont feel comfortable with it.       

   

Popeye's Fucks Up Again

In the Spirt of Chicken:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pyW6w5B7Aw&feature=haxa_popt00us01

I cant tell if its just a coincidence that no white people go to popeyes or if they just dont show them.  (thanks for showing me this EP)

Blue Ribbon SoHo & Park Slope

The Blue Ribbon family of restaurants is everywhere.  The restaurant's owners run an impressive array of eight New York eating and drinking spots, with a planned cafe located in Williamburg's Brooklyn Bowl Bowling alley scheduled to open this spring.  Although the namesake belongs to a wide variety of stores, including bakeries, sushi houses, bars, and restaurants, I will be talking about the companies main stays, its Brasseries (fancy French word for small restaurant).  The SoHo location is 97 Sullivan st, and the Park Slope location is 280 5th ave.  I have only ever been to the Brooklyn version, but the menus are nearly identical, with slightly more offerings at the Brooklyn spot.  Despite the use of the word Brasserie implying that this is a small restaurant, Blue ribbon has no comfy small operation feel.  The place is nicely decorated with comfortable chairs and a wood paneled bar.  Overall the look of the place says basically "Im a expensive restaurant," and this pretty accurately reflects the new trendiness of Park Slope's 5th ave, as well as the fact that this is an expensive restaurant.  

But enough about that what about the food.  For your first time here you would be a fool to order anything but the fried chicken.  You might be thinking "I'm at a classy joint i'm gonna order foie gras, or some other dish I will pretend to like" but do yourself a favor and go with the chicken.  The chicken is lightly coated with not only bread but matzo meal adding a perfect crunch to the skin.  The chicken itself is spiced lightly and cooked perfectly.  Despite the crunchy outside, out of the three times i've ordered this chicken the inside has never been dry, but retained its moistness.  Chicken portions are generous, and the whole thing is served with greens and potatoes, and honey on the side for dipping.  The rest of Blue Ribbons menu is pretty good, although nothing is quite as spectacular as the chicken, and its all priced like it should be.             

*

*with regard to my last post Herpes is not fun to get or have

Come for the taco's, Stay for the diarrhea

I recently came across a listing in New York Magazine that 3 "professional eaters" (losers) will attempt to eat a thirty six foot long taco on May 5th at Grand Central Stations Zocalo. The first thing I thought about was the massive case of the runs that these pros are undoubtedly going to receive for their endeavor. Let me start by saying that I like Mexican food. Mexican food to me is basically comfort food, cheese, meat, avocado, sour cream, in a easy to hold bun. I may be grossly over simplifying Mexican food here, but I like to call Mexican food the herpes of food, because its fun to get but not fun to have. The truth is I cannot thoroughly enjoy Mexican food because it wrecks my fragile digestive system. Nothing ruins a mood like enjoying a good meal and then running to he potty. The break down of my past trip to Mexico was pretty much as follows: 10% travel time, 10% shopping time, 30% sightseeing time, 50% toilet time. This condition is not helped by the huge servings that most NYC Mexican places give, and the fatty low quality ingredients they use. I wish the city had some fine dining joints from our friends South of the border, but if there is a gourmet Mexican place in nyc, one that uses fresh ingredients and moderate portions, I haven't found it. If such a place does exist let me know about it.

A conversation I had with a girl in my school regarding Mexican Swine Flu
Me: you went to a Mexican place? hope you dont get swine flu.
Girl: Oh my God how do you get that?
Me: Touching Mexicans
Girl: Shit i'm fucked.

Rules of Bumming Vol 2: Best of the Worst/ Do the Dollar Menu

The truth is there isnt that much quality cheap food out there.  How do you survive in this environment?  You have to take the best of the worst.  Fast food joints are unfortunately the restaurants in our range at this point in our lives, so i've come up with a few tips for getting at least a halfway decent meal out of one, while skimping on the wallet hurt. 

1.  Best of the Worst:  Despite what the hippies might tell you not all fast food is the same.  Just like any food there are levels of quality and goodness.  Places like Quizzno's, while no fine experience, are better then place like Taco Bell in terms of ingredients and taste.  Im not going to give you a list of my favorite fast food joints, but I will tell you my least favorite is White Castle (anyone who thinks this is ironic cause of a certain movie can go Fuck themselves), you have probably eaten enough fast food in your life to make your own list. 

2.  Do the Dollar Menu:  A lot of fast food places have fine institutions such as the dollar menu.  Thank God for the dollar menu, seriously wise use of the dollar menu can save you serious bank.  For example a 10 pc mcnugget meal is about $7.50, with chicken, medium soda and fries.  If your willing to cut back just a little bit, you can get 2, 4 pice chicken mcnugget snacks off the dollar menu, and a small fries off the dollar menu, all for 3 dollars (pull off the water trick from last volume to replace the soda).  You have saved 4 dollars in exchange for 2 less mcnuggets and a few less fries.      

Zucker's Bagels&Smoked Fish Tribeca

The other day I had the opportunity to eat at a highly recommended bagel joint just off broadway on Chambers Street.  Zuckers is known for both its quality bagels and its quality toppings so I had high expectations going in.  The menu is standard Bagel shop fare, which is fine.  I ordered a poppyseed bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon.  Price of my Bagel: one dollar, Price of my bagel once I added smoked salmon: 12.05 after tax, ouch.  Fish is pricey these days cause the Japanese dont know when to stop killing our swimming friends, so this was to be expected, but it still put a dent in my wallet.  Luckily they didn't skimp on the fish, I got several generous layers of thinly sliced smoked salmon on my nicely sized Bagel.  The bagel was forgettable, but still very good, where this place shines is with its fish, which, considering what I paid, was thankfully very flavorful and rich.  The place does have some other menu options such as sandwiches and soups but none of them came recommended and they were expensive.  I've since heard that if you want a real quality bagel you should take a trip to a place called Murray's Bagels, but Zucker's fish will certainly be hard to top.  

           

Dressler Williamburg

Dressler is not the kind of place you expect to find in Williamsburg.  There is a complete lack of skinny jeans, there are not a million fixed gear bikes locked up outside, and you will see zero raybans.  Dressler feels more like a transplanted uptown restaurant then a local favorite.  Located just across form the famous Peter Lugar's, Dressler is a restaurant not to be missed.  I recently had the chance to eat there and let me say it was one of the finest meals I've ever had in Brooklyn.  The menu is pretty much French, or at least French inspired.  I started with pan roasted scallops, which were perfectly cooked to just the right softness, and drizzled with white truffle oils.  For my main course I hit up the dove, thats right dove.  People in New York may have some second thoughts about ordering what is essentially a pigeon (I noticed that this entree has since been removed form the menu) but this was one of the most unique experiences i've had in a restaurant.  First off they didn't try and disguise what it is, your presented with pretty much the entire bird minus head.  The shit looks a little gross, I'm not going to lie.  Birds (especially doves) have this whole image as being pure, beautiful, symbols of peace, etc, and here was a lightly fried one on my plate.  Good thing it was delicious, the bird had been cooked in such a way that the skin had been thoroughly crisped, while the insides were still moist enough to not dry out your mouth, yet not overly moist as to be squishy or too soft.  This joint ain't cheap, it's probably one of the most expensive places in Brooklyn, get someone to take you there for your birthday           

Popeye's aint worth it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZ8dkLmsWs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ezoklet%2Enet%2Fbbs%2Fshowthread%2Ephp%3Fp%3D369197&feature=player_embedded

Ol Dirty x 4 o'clock eats

I would like to announce a collaboration with my friends over at the offices of http://4oclockeats.com/.  These guys know what's up in the village and downtown, an area which is home to literally hundreds of quality eaterys.  The website is still a work in progress, but expect updates and possible guest reviews on Ol Dirty in the future.    

Rules of Bumming Vol 1: Cup of Water/ Speak your clout.

So I'd like to start off what will hopefully become a regular series on ODR, Rules of Bumming.  Allow me to explain:  As I said before my budget an my taste buds often do not compute, so I've devised a few tips maximizing your change at restaurants and fast-food joints.  

1.  This is really a golden rule, become a regular.  This works more at cafes and sit down places then in fast food joints, where the staff changes constantly (who wants to work at a fast food joint).  If you become a familiar face and manage to develop relationships with the workers they might start doing favors.  No one is gonna comp your meal, but you might get the big cookie, or maybe thell turn the other way when your a dollar short.  The guys ay my local sandwich shop usually throw in a bag of chips on the house for me, and anyone whose ever gone to Cindy's knows what being a regular can get you (FREE EDAMOMI).     

2.  Praise due to my friend L Jones for popularizing this one.  Whenever your at a place where drinks are served by giving you a cup and allowing you to fill it up with your drink of choice from a  machine, always ask for water.  Free cups of water must legally be given upon request by restaurants, so when you say "oh ill just have a cup of water," turn around and fill that cup up with as much soda as you want.  Some people might cringe at the illegality of this but I have never once been called out, and who wants water when you can drink suicide juice.        

FIRST ENDORSEMENT

I would like to officially throw what little weight this blog has behind City Bakery on W 18th st.  This joint was awarded best hot chocolate by the 2009 city annual hot chocolate festival, and trust me its true.  Strictly comfort food here, mac and cheese and fried chicken, and of course baked goods.  There are some vegan options for you rabbit people out there.  Everything is well prepared and you can tell the ingredients are quality.  Hit it up when you can, watch out at night for drunk 30 year olds, it is the village.  

Moim park slope

So Im gonna start the posting off with some eastern flavor.  A little while back a Korean restaurant opened up on Garfield place in Park Slope Brooklyn.  Im always Down for new Korean food, especially if I dont have to shlep out to Queens to get it.  On top of this the place opened up with a favorable write up in the times dining section, and some good user reviews on NYmagazines website.  The first thing you will Notice is that Miom is nicely designed, fusing traditional Korean elements with crisp modern lines and materials.  The second thing you'l notice is the balding Korean man in skinny jeans and a sport coat sipping a Martini by the door.  Dont be scared this is the owner, dip past this herb and go to your table or he will try and engage you in broken hip talk.

FOOD:  I ordered Korean style ribs and White Kimchi.  Let me say that Moim is not at all an authentic Korean dining experience.  The foods have been extensively modernized and westernized, that is the spice has been toned down and the soy-sauce has been thrown on.  Thats not to say the meal isnt good.  Each dish was well prepared, and I especially commend them on their perfectly cooked ribs.  However some of their other dishes, such as their kimchi, were just so far from what Korean food should be that it was insulting.  The place aint cheap either.

Overall no endorsement.  Go to Queens for the real thing, Koreans practically own parts of that place.     

Follow the Smell

I lot of people I know have these, and I read some of them.... so I figured I could do it and I made one to talk about whatever I feel like... And mainly I feel like eating.  

Food: I'm a poor guy living in NYC so i'm always looking for cheap eats, unfortunately I come from certified gourmet blood "Beer income champagne taste" as Grandma used to say RIP.  So i'm always down for good relatively cheap food.  Luckily im not all white bread theres a little yella in me so I likes me my Asian foods so Ill make sure to hit you with a good dose of food from that area of the globe.