Dog Food

I've ranted on this before but the NY times ran a recent article on people cooking for their dogs which reignited my hate for overzealous dog owners. I have a dog which I love, she sleeps on my bed, she is allowed on the couch, she goes out three times a day. But as much as I love my dog I have seen her do such adorable things as eat trash, eat plastic toys, and best of all eat her own shit. Which is why I will never cook for my dog and neither should you, it is not only time consuming and unnecessary it is insulting to the human race. The women in the NYtimes article actually had the nerve to feed her dog free range chicken. The only way my dog will ever touch a free range chicken is if she kills it herself or it falls off our dining room table. First, an animal that is content to eat shit does not care weather its chicken is free range or not. Second, have any of you ever actually watched a dog eat? They barley even chew they just wolf down whatever slop you put in their bowl like you've been starving them for weeks. Good food deserves to be savored and appreciated. Some owners try and argue that in fact dogs do appreciate their food more then we think. One friend told me he once watched a dog eat so fast it barfed into its bowl then continued eating through the vomit, I guess that's appreciation. The human equivalent would be if I liked my steak so much going down I decided to send it back up so I could eat it all over again as a smoothie. Nutrition wise dog food is actually better for your dog because its, you guessed it, made for dogs. I don't even have to look this fact up, I just need to look around at all the healthy dog food feed canines running around the world to know that somehow without roast organic chicken millions of tail wagging fuckers have lived for thousands of years. I mentioned before that feeding your dog cooked food was insulting to the human race and that's because there are people around the world eating trash who would much rather have the chicken you cook for your dog. If you find yourself eying up your dog's food saying "that could be tasty," you've gone too far.

Here is a dog video for shits and giggles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyKlNptQwc

Julia's Alright

So the holidays are over and by far the best meal I had was a little chicken dish that came out of that book known as "The Art of French Cooking" by a certain Julia Child. Now I've never really been into Julia Child, at least not since she became chick flick material, but after this meal I leafed through her cook book and she gets the ODR seal of approval. Lines like "boil chicken in melted butter," and "beat six eggs into cake mix" remind me of a time when people weren't afraid of what they ate. I don't think Mrs Childs could get away with writing such a book in today's world, what with all the calorie counters and diet freaks. Sure if the world ate like Julia Child cooked we may all be a little rounder, Julia was pretty dam round herself, she was also dam happy.