Sad Moments

What does Michael Jackson have to do with food: pretty much nothing except his love of Jesus Juice. But still I think all outlets of American media should pay homage to a truly great performer and musician. Personal life aside no one can deny the impact Jackson had on American pop music and dance. Being in Germany right now its a little hard for me to keep up with the news and I know this post is coming a little late but its better to say something then nothing. Rest in peace Michael.

can i get a menu domkoff

Well here I am smack in the middle of Germany. I've been here 2 days and had three hot dog type meals, and its pretty sick. Ill devote this post mainly to the German eating experiance as I have found it so far. Like all of Europe Germany is big on the cafe. The main difference between these cafes and the ones in downtown NY is that you are expected to linger over your food, and I mean really take a long time. Dont expect to sit down in at a table and be served right away, I've found that it takes a good 5 minutes for a waiter to notice you, then another 20 or so to get your food, and then another 10 to get the waiters attention again to get your check. All this waiting is a little tough on a born and bread New Yorker like me but theres something enjoyable about taking a good hour to eat lunch. My cheif complaint about German cafe's is the waiters. In Germany you never tip more then one euro because the waiters get a significant salery. This means they dont live on tips like our American waiters, and this means that they could give a dam if they mess up your order cause youl only dock them one euro for it. This isnt just something I notice eaither, I watced an old German man reduce his waitress to tears because he was so feed up with the serive. When you do finally snag a waiter they luckily are patient enough to deal with a foreigner like me (the only German I know comes from World War Two movies), and are generally as helpful and nice as our waiters back home. What they lack in service they make up for in charm and food. In New York Ive been trained to pick a good eatery from bad, but in Germany any cafe you walk into it almost guarenteed to give you a decent meal. The quality of the food is simply better on average. Also NY cafes arnt in fucking Europe, which already puts them at a disadvantage. The first thing I thought to myself when I stepped off the train into my little town was "all the steryotypes are true." The part of the country that I'm in, for the most part, looks exactly like that fake Europe in Disney World. Needless to say the restaurants and cafes in Germany have a charm that no Ameircan reastaurant can easily match sicne they pretty much look like they hopped out of story book.

*this post is prob full of errors, sorry this whole computer is in German and I cant spell check anything (ok levi).

Live from Berlin

In one day's time I will be traveling to the fatherland for some R&R.  Over my ten days in Germany I'll definitely be eating as much meat, and sipping on as much quality beer as I can get my hands on.  Ill try to keep this blog up too date while overseas, but if not then see you in july.

Keep eating

We got trucks and trucks and trucks

Recently i've been noticing a load of new food trucks springing up around the city.  I lot of these trucks are complete rip offs so I thought I'd compile a little list of some of the best trucks and others to avoid.

The Mud Truck:  Not being a coffee drinker i'm going on the word of my old lady on this truck.  The Mud trucks drive around the East and West village, and occasionally venture into Coney Island for some reason.  Seeing the Mud truck's orange paint job driving down the street is enough to make any hipster jump out of his chucks.  I dunno what makes the coffee that this truck hands out so good (the website calls it mystery beans), but my mom goes crazy for it, and the prices are decent.  

Rickshaw Dumpling Truck:  These trucks are all over the place and they serve dumplings full of wet shit.  There is a Rickshaw in my neighborhood, and after the douche bag in the truck serves you your dumplings you bite into some wet greasy meat and wonder where your six bucks went.  

Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream:  This Mr softy alternative should appeal to hippies who worry about biodegradable cups and organic ingredients.  For people like me who worry mainly about taste this truck doesn't disappoint either.  The truck has limited flavor options, but where you get the quality is in the ingredients.  Besides being eco-friendly all that organic milk and cream gives the ice cream a freshness that depending on how much you like ice cream, will justify the hefty price.  I've sighted these trucks in SoHo, Park Slope and the West Village.  

PizzaMoto:  I've never eaten at one of these but i'm seriously considering tracking one of these red trucks down after I learned that the franchise is run by a former a Franny's chef.  PizzaMoto isn't really a truck, more like a mobile kitchen.  The truck part hauls a boat trailer with a real brick oven mounted on the back, serving hot out of the oven pizza to brooklynites in Dumbo and Fort Greene.   

Kogi Korean BBQ To Go:  These trucks have only made infrequent appearances in NYC from LA, but a permanent NY operation is in the works.  Kogi trucks serve everything Korean BBQ, including short ribs, pork bellies, and spicy chicken.  Maybe its because I love Korean food but this is my favorite food truck.  Each dish is served taco style in a wrap, with a decent amount of meat and veggies inside, all at a reasonable price.  Kogi trucks have appeared only at festivals and special events in NYC but keep a look out for their permanent fleet in the future.  

   

benihana tyler perry drama

Let me just say this review isnt about the food, reviewing Benihana for the food is like reviewing Applebees for the food . Recently my boy got a gift card to Benihana, or as they call them Benigrams (seriously).  The card was for 50$, too much for one man to spend at the joint so he nicely invited me along.  I'm always skeptical of places which rely on entertainment to sell food, but I wasn't about to turn down a free meal, and hibachi cuisine when done right can actually be quite good.  Since its not economical for the chef to cook for just two people we were seated with a huge family which spread out over two tables.  These people (YOU PEOPLE?!) walked straight out of barbershop 5.  Before the chef arrived each of them sent back their daiquiri for extra shots, needless to say I was a little uncomfortable but as the lady next to me said "dont haaatee."  Our chef arrived, his name was Roy and he was Indian, I was a little jealous because the other table got a chef named yoshi and he was Japanese (the country where Hibachi originates from).  Roy started to do his thing, chopping onions real fast and making volcanos.  The family was quite impressed, "he is a gangster" the dad proclaimed, "we got a chef over here."  The yoshi table wasn't gonna take that "awww nooo our chef is doing his thang over here," they shouted.  Honestly I have no idea what they said next but to me it sounded like "whoeehhh in dis in got the real clean look withadat knifing shit inthis grill joint."  If you can understand this you could have understood that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b61D0lSw2TY   .   Having your food made in front of you at this place shows you how shity it is.  Roy slapped some nice looking pieces of chicken on the grill, drenched them in soy sauce, slapped on a wad of garlic butter, and then cut them up really fast all the while banging on the grill and shouting "oh yehhhhh, ohheyyyehhhhhhhhh."  My friend got the steak which was so undercooked I had to spit it out when i tried a piece (which is hard to do when the chef is in front of you).  The family around me got the fried rice which actually looked very good, but unfortunately I couldn't try any.  I was pretty disappointed in Roy.  Gangster status aside he mainly just slapped the table and yelled oh yeh, instead of concentrating on cooking our food.  Whatever despite the horrible amounts of sauce in my chicken I enjoyed it, im not a hater.    

K.orean F.ried C.hicken

Im a little late on this trend.  About a year ago I started to hear a lot about Korean Fried Chicken both from friends and from the NY times dinning section.  Embarrassingly enough for me (especially since I'm part Korean) I had never had the stuff and it wasn't until last night that I got a chance to taste it.  The bird came from Bon Chon, a Korean chain which is gaining popularity in New York (locations include one store downtown, one in Flushing, and one in midtown).  I must admit I didn't actually go to the restaurant, we ordered in (apples to apples was getting intense and we couldn't leave the table).  I had Bon Chon's basic dish, non spicy boneless chicken pieces.  Each piece is about the size of a mcnugget, but tastes about as good as a mcnugget sprinkled with E.  Each Gooknugget (mcnuggest for micks, gooknuggest for gooks)  is really a master piece of deep frying.  Most fried chicken you get in the states has been heavily breaded, and is wrapped in a crusty coat of grease and fried skin.  Dont get me wrong this style of chicken when pulled off well (Blue Ribbon) is a pleasure to eat.  But Bon Chon's lightly breaded pieces were a welcome refreshment from a lifetime of American style nuggets.  What sets Bon Chon's gooknuggets apart is that their crust is actually rather thin and light, yet still crunchy and crisp.  Also a problem that plagues most friend chicken, dryness, is not an issue with Bon Cohn.  Each piece is moist and juicy, but not dripping with grease.   Achieving this balance must require careful frying, and props to Bon Chon for bringing asian precision to the fried chicken game.             

rules of Bumming Vol 6: Girls Don't Eat Much

Maybe its a sign of the unfair pressure that our modern day American society lumps onto its women, but bitches sure dont eat that much.   A lot of the time when i'm out to eat in the company of women, I look up from my cleaned plate only to notice my companion has barley dented their meal.  Take advantage of this and chow down.  When your out with your female friends suggest a lunch stop and then play the trash man picking up all their leftovers.  I once ate at a Nathan's with 3 girls and got the biscuits from one girl, the mashed potatoes from the other, and a piece of chicken from the third, a whole fucking meal free!  Obviously if your on a date or trying to impress the girl, finishing her meal for her isnt a good look (trust me), but when your out with a group or "just a friend" its totally acceptable.  If your feeling cocky you can suggest a meal for the girl to get, which you will then enjoy. For example

You: (thinking) I really want some mac and cheese

You: (speaking) Hey you should get the mac and cheese I hear its really good.

Girl: Ok, ill have one mac and cheese please (to clerk).  Hey what are you getting.

You: Oh me? im on a diet. (this is a good excuse because it reminds them maybe they should be on a diet too, and you get more leftovers)

 

This is probably a trend more apparent with young girls and women and most likely wont work with your mom or grandma (Grandma will cook you any food you want anyway).